Fai†hfully Preparing my Fields for the Rain

:: Someone is Reading My Blog... Someone... ::

Last night I found out that someone special is reading my blog. She's not really good at listening cos she always interrupts me when I try to talk but it's okay cos I do that sometimes too and since she's reading my blog, my greatest expression of myself and probably nearest to how I truly feel and think about stuff. I have a reassurance that she still knows how I feel, don't know if she would understand though. I'm happy she told me, this is where I cannot be interrupted.

I read in the body language book that if you cross your arms, not only is it a sign of insecurity but it will immediately make you unreceptive to what is heard. Now every time when I try to talk, i'll be taking note of this particular body sign. I also read a few chapters earlier that smiles and laughter are infectious and used for building bonds, which confirms what I believe, that "Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."

And finally, I had the longest hug I've ever had in years... I'm having a strong feeling that cannot be expressed in words... and since talk is cheap, let's put in simply in a picture.

Now I'm still contemplating her love language... How to make her feel loved so I don't waste my time and efforts. =X

Ann, if you're reading this, below are my thoughts, they are my honest worries about the future and is NOT advisable to be read as it may sound a little intimidating but I'm taking that risk of scary you away yet I really hope that you know how I feel and understand. You said you're not looking for a fling, neither am I. Saying is easy so I'm making every effort to show you I'm serious.

Hmmm... Rejects my kit-kat and stomp on flowers before so definitely not 'Receiving Gifts' (phew, can save money here). Helps people and mentioned several times about how her friends and ex have helped her during her dark times, dependent and also independent but shuts me off many times when I try to help her with anything, so there is a 50% chance that it is 'Acts of Service'. Complains about names calling, subconsciously asking for reassurance while denying it and feels upset when unappreciated, so it might be 'Words of affirmation'. Shows much concern for the close people around her and complains when not shown concern and understanding, take time out to walk alone, finds a confidante to talk when really upset or confused, so I think there is a high possibility that it is 'Quality Time'.

If this is true den the nearest probable issue to appear is that we are on different shifts from June onwards. August onwards, OT would be lesser, meaning even lesser time of seeing each other and I don't really have time on weekends cos of my projects until December. After that, next year January I'll be going for my interview to SIA, if I fail, then there is a high chance that plan B of going Australia to work for 2.5yrs will happen resulting in a 'Long Distance Relationship' unless I get promoted with equal expectations of pay and time or I somehow, miraculously convinced her to come over Aussie to stay with my Aunt (not close enough with each other for this to be possible yet), so... haiz...

Dear God,

I pray I will pass my interview next year so I can stay in SG. To be there for someone. Thank you God for everything that has happened so far, my job, my family, my dreams, my health and the desires of my heart. Please bless me in this path I'm taking but let Your will be done, not mine. Lead me not to temptation of the human heart but guide me every step along the way to a holy and righteous life that pleases You. In Jesus Christ most precious name I pray. Amen.

Had a Vision
on Sunday, May 15, 2011, 10:46 AM