Fai†hfully Preparing my Fields for the Rain

:: final words... ::

Today! i went out to catch a movie, Deuce Bigalow with that special someone I would mysteriously want to call, my soulmate. But my mind is beclouded if this "Tong Hua", "Shen Hua", or "Final Fantasy" has become only mine or is it still ours..?

Less words are spoken, Much more are broken,
Alas, a Knight that never fails, but to love he hails.

Through the nights that never seem to end,
I just hope that this message is sent.

Whatever the plot that lies ahead,
Everything has been done and said.

wtf! what was i writing?! arhh... i'll just post it anyways... now let's see the songs... where am i gonna find them?!

Had a Vision
on Monday, October 24, 2005, 6:37 PM

:: lots to say... cont. ::

This saturday, the youths went to church for combined cell again! yay! it's Keith's games again! always ending up with scars and bruises... anyway, main important thing in this cell was the BGR talk. I had quite alot of BGR talks and this 1 is funny!! 4got what was so funny though... just too many.

ok, after the 2hr video, we had cell discussions and something was said that sort of gives me a big encouragement. He was sharing his experience, he said "I love her so much that I would want to protect her, protect her dignity, protect her purity, and that is why I don't even hold her hands though I would really want to because once you hold her hand, you're like taking the first step on the slide." of course there is even in depth reason for doing so in the video... now than i realise what happens when the guy touches the girl for the first time...
Boy: full of lust, wants to be close to feel affection so therefore tries to hold hands while crossing the road.
Girl: full of passion, blinded by love, get touched for the first time thinking "is this ok? I can't say cannot else he might think i don't like him."
Boy: Hey! she doesn't mind! and naturally holds her hands the next time they're together but quickly moves on as they watch a movie thinking "she must be cold" and puts his arm around her.
Girl: really feels cold but doesn't really mind gets a shock but stays cool as she thinks "wow! he's putting his arm around me! i wonder if this is alright? yet i can't say cannot else he might think i don't like him."
Boy: YAY! she doesn't mind! and naturally puts his arms around her the next time they're together... but still unsatisfied, starts to rub her back... up and down and up and down...
Girl: feels good! should be alright.. can't say cannot... blah blah blah!
Boy: YAY! blah! blah! got one time while rubbing down to the waist area, stays there!
Girl: Blah!
Boy: Blah!

This was what is meant by sliding... now i know!! Thank you Lord for your mercy and grace! Once again, you've laid peace on my head... I thank you... yet is it wrong to ask for more? i have peace in my head but i want peace in my heart as well Lord! thank you for hearing my prayer Lord, I know you always have. In Jesus Christ name I pray, Amen.

Had a Vision
on , 6:30 PM

:: lots to say... ::

reason for absent from blog: mapling, too lazy, busy peeling skin, sick, what else... no time maybe...

which brings me about Why i write blogs? is it to destress, but i play game to destress. Is it for me to remember the things, good or bad that happened, but what's there to remember bad things in life? to learn from them? Or is it simply because i know some1 is reading them, and it's because they wants to know whats going on in my life, because they want to care for, because they wanna know if i'm alright...

ok, last week stuff i can't quite remember except for last saturday's combined cell outing to sentosa! Easily remembered because of all the "scars" it left me, i had to spend the whole week mending these scars... argh! can't sleep well for like 3 days cos of the terrible sunburn!! Games lead by Keith are always either xiong or super xiong BUT Extreme fun gaurenteed! first, we were split into our cell for a inter-cell challenge, we had to choose a volunteer from the cell, a good swimmer was adviced... i looked around, there were only 3 guys in my cell, me being the oldest guy in the cell had "no" choice. We were suppose to bury the person whole body except the head in sand in the quickest time possible, then put a bottle on the persons head (my head) and each member had to run about 10 meters to the sea (yup! salty sh*t water) and use their hands or mouth (yup! MOUTH) and carry the water into the bottle thats place on the burried persons forehead. *EEeeeewww* Then about half filled, I must struggle out of the sand, grab the bottle on my head, jump into the sea and swim to the nearest island, place the bottle there, run back from the bridge, then another person goes to retrieve it.
BUT unfortunately for me, my lungs haven't moved for "awhile", the millions of sand pressing on my chest already knocking me out half-life, then swimming for dunno how many meters is like WOW! i gave up halfway through the swim... (feeling like a total loser, big man, give up?) still i'm touched by the concerning people around me, getting me water to drink, etc. Anyway, the games continues! it was hide and seek time! but it didn't went very well cos lousy hiders were chosen... then dog & bone! then Handball! which i think was around 1pm in the afternoon cause i was almost KO by the sun. (again feeling like a loser, so big yet so weak?)
Then it was finally time to eat, i made ham and cheese sandwiches that ended up as ham and Melted cheese sandwiches... very demoralising actually, nice piece of art turned into ya know, but hey! melted cheese is my favourite!!! =) then i went to tan for awhile thinking i was too pale, but ended up making a big letter "S" out of the sand like 3d liddat, very cool too bad my friend destroyed it immediately after it's done along with the 3d apple i made. And left with nothing... T_T

Had a Vision
on , 5:13 PM

:: yay!~pheW~ ::

k, 1 of the biggest problems fixed! well... halfway through maybe... i managed to clear the most crucial thing that have caused all the damage to my brain cells... THE DUST!!

i manage to get to the most dusty places and clear the dust, so i'm guessing i can finally make my mind function properly. ok, so there's 2 corner's of my room done... hmm... still have somemore corners... oh well, gotta go rest... oh shucks! maple patching...

Had a Vision
on Thursday, October 13, 2005, 7:01 PM

:: Live to die? ::

Is life so cruel we have to hide from it...?

Everybody has problems, some face them, some run from them, some hide from them...
It's been some time since i came out to face these problems... some big some small... but still are problems... It's the same as white lies, big lies, they're still lies... Big sin, small sin are still sins that God despises and hates.

How have i been hiding... At first it was a game of pool that led to months of it, everyday after school even during exams... then it was maple story for awhile switching to gunbound then to intensive TV watching and music listening... eventually i reach a new game called DotA which also led to addiction for a few months...

Why have i been hiding... too many problems... let's list them out...
Character: gone down the drain... never bothers about people anymore... appear offline most of the time in msn just because i don't want to talk... or maybe i lost my most appealling trait, cockiness crapping that BRINGS laughter...
Life: a mess, so is my room... about 2mm of dust visible...
Spiritual life: terrible! like never read bible for years liddat... but communication with God never stopped, even when playing game... wanted to make a website for God to help others but until now haven't completed.
Worship: no good! feels like i'm leading a shity lifestyle.
Fellowship: ok lah, considering going out to play DotA i get to know more of the people in church.
Discipleship: have i been christ-like? not up to me to say.
Ministry: Dance? no good... not been practicing for rather long.
Evangelism: is as bad as ever!!
Love: is patient, so i shall continue to perservere and wait for the right time... but when is the right time? who decides that time is right? what am i going to do when the time is right? how do i know if it is right time? where will i be after the time comes?
Friends: are suppose to be there when you need them right? but not always... Some people, you go into their life and they think you're the only good person on the face of the earth, throws you all their problem and expects you to have a solution... this is absurb!
Work: is terribly hard, especially when you open your wallet and realise that your mom came into your room yesterday when you were playing game, she opens the drawer takes out your wallet, grabs some cash and says "ahfu! i borrow money from you hor!"
Business: is good and getting better! too bad i'm not a part of it... yet...
Spiritual family: is good... some misunderstanding... actually considered alot... girl problem... haiz... sianz...
Family: is the only thing i have now... my whole family said my hair is nice!! =)

k, the next thing is steps taken to solve these problems...

Had a Vision
on Monday, October 10, 2005, 5:48 PM