Fai†hfully Preparing my Fields for the Rain

:: Sabbath Day ::

Haha! what a great way to start a day, i woke up early at 6am, unexpectedly cos i slept at 3am last night. Then after bathing, n ready to go, i set off to tampines to take the shuttle bus that comes at 9am, but to my surprise when i reached there, my time says 7.56am!!! that was when i realise i was way too early to be there so i decided to take bus 10 instead... it's been so long since i went to church so early, it was ever since i changed cell groups...

service is good! as usual but somehow or rather different... i dunno why... then when pastor was preaching, i fell asleep near the end of the talk, which i was quickly awoken by the holy spirits nudge... i tried to stay awake by talking with song de... i wrote on a paper if he knew that only 1 out of 10000 people could roll their tongue, then i showed him mine. He kinda got surprise n told me something bout genes and that i must be the type that inherits both of my parents good genes... i felt comforted n also thought for awhile... yeah... my mom is good in art n my dad is good in technical drawing, n i am good in both!~WOW!!

after service, i still had dance... amazingly i didn't feel tired what-so-ever, it's like my strength is being replenish every sec of every minute... i was like hyperactive but a little out of control mode, jumping around non-stop like as if i'm energizer or something... dance is simply so fun!

after dance, i finally got the chance to watch Final Fantasy Advent Children on jonnie's laptop, it was EXCELLENT! the movie links very much to the game and the graphics, WOW! the fighting is like, IMPOSSIBLE!! they can actually ride bikes at very high speed jump midair do some swordplay and still land back on their bike! i wanted to bring home to watch a gain but the file size is super big lor... 700+Mb!! wa lao! oh well.. then pastor also got a table tennis table n he put it in church to play, i watch them play for awhile, it was like super funny when wenyan, sui feng and chek meng do something together, their like clown sei... then i left with a group of people which somehow should not be as i felt i was not part of that group...

I was thinking of somethings... feeling tired so i didn't say anything... just strange, when i am serving, i feel like i have an endless supply of energy, and when everything is over, i feel like ice melting... like a big pile of fatigue all compressed and realease one shot on me... i walked home alone to the bus stop at the library, i looked up the sky and sighed asking God, "What have i done today? Did i do something fruitful that is line with your will? Am I getting anywhere closer to the person you want me to be? Did i live this day with no regrets?" then i went back to thinking why i was not together with the group just now... was it because i looked like i had something on my mind i had to get off or was it because i have burdens to carry, responsibility to take, pain to endure, tears to hold back? Sometimes when there is a squall, a storm, or just thunder, how i wished for death from this cruel, heartless world, full of lies, lust, greed, hatred, jealousy, n grief... just by ending my life just like tt, with a lightning bolt... Why is Singapore so safe you dun even see life robbery, then how i wish i can run into the situation and gamble if i die quickly or become a hero... but then again, it would be such a waste if i die so early... there's so much i haven't do, so much i haven't said, games i haven't completed, goals i have not achieved, songs i haven't sung, friends i have not helped, family i have not repaid, n love i have not give...

so i guess i'll just have to continue living!! unwillingly... Oh father in heaven how i wish to know when i can finally go back into your arms again... when i can finally get out of this dreaded world, when will i ever finish what i am here for... Lord, i pray that you would make it easier for me to see your will, may your will be done, in Jesus Holy name i pray, amen.

Had a Vision
on Sunday, November 27, 2005, 6:59 PM

:: In deep thoughts again.... ::

I was thinking of leadership roles and character... after attending my CDS, leadership and character so i have to think about this...

Leadership is more of a personal lifestyle i think... whereas for management is somewhat of a must in the workplace environment... Leadership requires integrity~when something is said then it has to be done... Leadership involves the emotional bonding of followers and building up the sense of belonging for them... meeting them at least once a week... having lunch with key members of the group every month... listening to their problems... giving advise for their problems faced...
Leadership is about being a people person who truely understands people, their core motivation, their very desire to live...

Anywayz, i came up with a few cool nicks for me... SquallGalaxy, FierySquall, AuroraSquall, PolarSquall, PulsorSquall, CyberSquall, SquallPandora and ShadowSquall!! Oh yay!

Another thing i realise yesterday as i was flipping through my FF8 guidebook, i kinda miss that game so i took it out feeling like playing it once again and achieve perfect stats cos i haven't done that so far after maxing every1's level, even wrote a guide for myself in case this day came... ok, back to what i came to realise in the game... there was an item, a rare item called Samantha Soul, it increases the GF's damage +40% if learnt on a GF... that's like... dotz lor!

Had a Vision
on Tuesday, November 22, 2005, 11:18 AM

:: weird day (cont.) ::

Night time, we went to watch Sky High! Great movie! Nice plot! Very funny! Very fascinating! Very good ending oso! similar to FF8 ending! Weird thing is the group of people i'm watching with... all not very shou... especially wenna bring another fren somemore! worst manz! i oso saw 1 of my elder sis frens that she hangs out with and found out quite abit of wat's going on out there.

At home, i talked to my mom abit, my sis abit, i found out quite alot of things... matbe to much for me to handle... started asking questions like "why my family liddat 1? communications very very bad!! things that should be shared are not! like no transparency at all! like everybody has something to hide as if it's something too shameful to be told!" if it's shameful to say, then it's definitely not the right thing! cos love is trust!! for goodness sake! the worst thing is i cannot do anything about it now! but to plan how to be a good father, husband, friend, grandfather, etc. and not repeat the same mistakes that many families have made.

Hmm... this brings about something to my mind! my new motto!
Forgive n Forget the past
Face n Fashion the future
Focus on the present First

Had a Vision
on Thursday, November 10, 2005, 12:45 AM

:: What a weird day! ::

Had a Vision
on Wednesday, November 09, 2005, 11:39 PM

:: trip to malaysia... yay?! ::

ok, i think i'm really thinking too much or... whatever...

first day, we went to ipoh to live in tt old bangalow menifested with termites which we visit in like once every 2-3 years to stay... n always the same, the very first thing we do is clean the whole place then we hit the sack...
then i think it was the second day, which my dad lets me drive abit in the car around the bangalow area! yay! my first experience driving in a car... wasn't as easy as i expected, but still easy i think... yay! then the rest of the day is like sleep, eat, sleep eat...

third day, lol my younger sis see i drive oso wan, so my dad let her drive oso... then it's so funny... she drives as badly as me... the brake like dunno what liddat, everybody all jerk in front... i guess we just need somemore practice, and my driving license wun be far from me!~ then i think we went to cameron highland if i'm not wrong~ it was raining! and traffic was terrible! we didn't manage to see much, only... my First time seeing a sunflower! hydroponic farming! tiny strawberries! and a close encounter with bees!!

fourth day, after breakfast we set off for genting highlands... somehow it didn't seem as cold as before... global warming? or my skin too used to low temperature? we managed to get a room at the "First World Hotel" which i hate so much manz!~ cos no room service!! so i went down to eat Kenny Rogers for the first time! yucks..?! shouldn't eat high class food in low class places... maybe i'll try singapore 1.. someday... anyway, that was the last thing i did tt day... b4 that was quite a memorable experience..?!~ after we put our things in the hotel, we went out to play a few things.. only... cos it was too late... 7pm... late? 0_O ~ I took a ride with my sis on the Flying Coaster, then we went for the Haunted House... what a terrible experience! but fun!! but maybe i dun think so... recently, when i go places like themepark, i dun get excited like i used to... getting old liao...

fifth day, we live on the 24th floor so it's quite high lah... then in da morning the first thing we see outside the window was Nothing! a piece of whiteness! so nice!!! we were covered in the clouds i think... but it after some time, it left and so did we... we went down to play a few more rides... like the Space Shot, and err... the rest i'm not so sure... there was 1 ride that made me dizzy, and another that i wasn't allowed on cos i was too heavy... 0_O ~ we did visit the Ripley's believe it or not! "museum" then left the place... and went to our relative house in KL...

sixthday, yay! finally going back! after breakfast and lunch we went home... reach home at abt 10pm!

Had a Vision
on Tuesday, November 08, 2005, 8:01 AM

:: i'm ok!! ::

yay! i lvl 50 le... i finally look like a warrior! at last! but somehow i feel like i've wasted alot of time... on something very meaningless... oh well! i dun care anymore! I just wanna waste my life on fruitless things and wait for the sky to drop on me... or until God gives me a big knock on the head.

I'll be going to malaysia tmr... no! in a few hrs time... the time now is 4.30am... i haven't sleep... still mapling... will be going off anytime now... when my parents wake up that is... oh well, take a power nap and back to maple!

Had a Vision
on Tuesday, November 01, 2005, 4:23 AM