Fai†hfully Preparing my Fields for the Rain

:: Renewed ::

This afternoon, i went to meet the people from Singapore Youth For Christ... last week was meet up for prayer, this week is about evangelism... i didn't know how so i just followed roger around n he did all the talking, i said nothing just prayed... n God is so amazing, the guy was actually listening... but oso because Roger said everything so clearly n confidently bah... one thing hit me that he said was, "imagine when u become a father 1 day then u raise ur child, love with with all that u can give n give him ur everything but then if the child replies that he don't know u or i dun want to have anything to do with u... how would u feel?"

God really loves us...

he continued for a long time, i oso learnt that every choice has a consequence, n often people make the easier choice which usually results in a great consequence which we would usually not be able to carry or pay...

Tonight's prayer is for all the non-believers n back-sliders out there that chooses to sin, which result in a great consequence that no man can carry... which is, eternal seperation from God.

At night i went to a wake... funny today then i know a wake is funeral... anyway, i was thinking of death when i was dere... i tot of what will be written in memories of me... who will cry over me... ya, tt's it... ugh tired... need to sleep liao... Glory to God forever n ever, amen.

Had a Vision
on Wednesday, May 31, 2006, 1:52 AM

:: Ai seh! God POWER!! ::

Praise the Lord, everything is going pretty well... i'm hurt n learning! woohoo!~ pain! but i must thank God for i believe he has a purpose for everything that may happen, like my comp broke down, i got to spend more time with my family, talking to them, watching tv with them, i oso get to spend time with my friends, fellowship with believers, n though i didn't reach lvl 70 b4 holidays ended, the price for DB dropped n if i were to reach lvl70 b4 the holidays end, i would have spent alot of my mesos on DB, but anyway linus gave me a DB liao so, woohoo!~ saved me lots of trouble...

now having a communication breakdown with my group members... it's a bad thing.. but i believe God has a good reason behind it... maybe that would maximise work done when less there's less talk... =)

now, i was thinking about the lessons God is teaching me... He doesn't gives me patience just like tt, though He can but He didn't... instead he gave me some really hard to love type of people n from there i learn to love patiently, listen carefully, serving gracefully, n to teach gently...
to learn these lessons is tough, going through condemnation, enduring through criticism that feels like arrows piercing through my heart, n not to mention constant rejection...
but soon, i will be a master of patience, n i will no longer let impatience rule over me.

Power n Glory to God forever n ever. Amen.

Had a Vision
on Monday, May 29, 2006, 10:37 AM

:: hurt again... ::

ok, this is getting far enough... if i get hurt again! i'm going to! i'm going to! ah shit! i can't cos the bible says to 4give 70 7 times... God, pls help me... i know u know that i'm hurt... pls tell me u're still here with me though i know u r here, but pls just tell me becos my faith is low... i need u God.. if this keeps up i'm gonna breakdown...

ok, i've decided! i'm going to be single my whole life so i can worship u with all my heart, soul n mind n body. nothing else will be shared on anyone on the face of this earth. My brothers, i will still love them but only becos u commanded me to. Glory to God forever n ever. Amen.

Had a Vision
on Thursday, May 25, 2006, 7:13 PM

:: i killed my brother... ::

this morning was kind of fast and suddenly it was lunch, Si Dong asked me to go for this prayer meeting in school, so i said ok n went! thank God i went, cos got chio bu! =X
then we intro liao they talked about the Da Vinci Code and how it will affect the faith of most christian, but of course my faith didn't moved an inch! Yeah!
sianz i 4got that chio bu name, but i remember most of the rest, roger, carmen, priscilla... we also shared our faith, n which church we came from... then later we prayed for our non-believer friends... it was interesting, i think i'll go again next week cos anyway nan de get to see chio bu in school, moreover talk to 1, in engineering =X

then after that, me and ZhiJin went kfc eat... that was where i killed him... i was talking how we should evangelise like their church n the talking bout the problems face in church like me needing to memorise chinese verses which is kind of difficult for me, then Jin interupted sarcastically, 'haiya! just memorise lah!'... then i squint my eyes n look at him n said ' u know, it's like asking u to spell.. ', again he interupted, 'okok! i understand, okok, okok!' at that point i was getting rather upset liao... then i said 'u know, u always say everything like it can be done easily liddat.. like..' he interupts me the third time in a sarcastic way i 4got what he said cos i flamed n interupt back, 'i refer these kind of people as big holes.', he said 'what?' then i repeated myself, 'i refer these people as big holes.' - at that moment we both went silent n i knew i killed him at that very moment.

after eating i told him why i called him that, i told him that i was hurt when he talks to me like that... then as we walked back to our class, he kept quiet all the way, then i asked him if he's angry at me for attacking his character, he smiled n replied, 'no, no, i'm not angry at u... i'm just thinking of what i said.. it's good that u tell me' he continued his silent all through the rest of the day...

later we met up with liyao, went to eat n go PM loh...

Bless this church to become united God, glory to God forever n ever. Amen.

Had a Vision
on Tuesday, May 23, 2006, 11:25 PM

:: blog profile updated ::

OK, this morning i was serving the web looking for information about knighthood, and i found out that that during medieval times, knighthood start at the age of 7 where they serve nobleman of a castle as a 'Page' for 7 years until the age of 14 where they become a 'Squire', whereby they follow their knight in their ways, serving them and learning the things such as riding a horse, wielding a sword, and many more until the age of 21 which is when they finally get knighted... but even b4 the ceremony there are many things to do like letting a priest bless the sword n armor, praying in the chapel for 10hrs!!, n many more... After which i oso checked out the different types of swordplay that the jedi knights used in the movies, n i'm like... Totally Awesome Dude!!

Sooo, i added my wishes in my profile.. not very down-to-earth, but hey! that's me!!

Glory to God, forever and ever. amen.

Had a Vision
on Sunday, May 21, 2006, 1:06 AM

:: zombies again... ::

i wonder if i have some kind of connection with zombies and the undead... i keep having dreams of either being chased by them, being attacked by them, them killing my team, or other people, or my friends...

monday night was no exception... i tot of a few worship songs in the night n woke up to write them down b4 i 4get then when i went back to bed, the moment i close my eyes i saw an image of zombie being engulfed in a pool of maggots n creepy crawlies...

maybe God wants to tell me something... i dun really watch horror shows, only catch a glimse or 2 when i walk pass the tv n some1 else is watching... i never liked them... could there be the slightest chance that i would be driving out demons in the near future...
or the impossible... earth getting attacked then i have to save the world? no matter what happens Lord, let ur will be done as i know ur will is good, pls guide me Holy Spirit.. glory to your name forever n ever, Amen.

Had a Vision
on Wednesday, May 17, 2006, 8:46 AM

:: Oh God... ur path is hard... ::

hmm.. God, i've got something to say to you! You know my needs, my wants and my every desires because you put them there when you created me... but right now i feel that these desires are getting out of hand... they seem to be making me weak to the point i that i dun wanna wake up or even wish i was dead to escape that feeling...

God, I would really like to know why you put those desires in my heart and i would also like to know if those desires are to be fulfilled 1 day... or maybe you are not going to fulfill them... i just want to know... but i dun need to know, so if you were to tell me or not, let your will be done cos i know ur will is good... in Jesus name i pray, amen...

Had a Vision
on Tuesday, May 16, 2006, 8:37 AM

:: Cold... ::

i'm cold... very very cold... i was cold from the start til i met heat, i melted n poured out my blessings on heat to cool her down, i poured n i poured til i'm neutralised n slowly i started to get warm n eventually boiling... but heat never cooled down... so i pulled away... n said i would come back... when i was cooled again i went back to look for heat but heat seems to have turned cold by herself so i guess she didn't need me...

n so once again, time has made me frozen...

heat never came to look for me...

Had a Vision
on Monday, May 15, 2006, 9:34 AM

:: this i must say... ::

phew... it's the 2nd week now... n still no log book... n worst is no work done, but then again our supervisor says that first 2 weeks is training then later he said first 3 weeks is training, i just hope he dun say 4 the next time i ask him...

anyway, my group consist of a 2 very close friend but maybe too close..? one is zhijin, a fren i met in church... though he's from aerospace n not very keen on the project i have chosen, i tot he would be of a great support, i dun mind doing more work as long as he "supports" me... but to my disappointment, he destroyed me yesterday with a 2 word greeting that hurts me more than a sword piercing through my heart... that made me sin badly... my anger grew through the night, murdering him in my tot (when i say murder, bible means thinking of anger means murder)

another was xulu, he's from china... he was my primary school classmate i think... we were in the same primary school... then now in poly, we're in the same course! praise the Lord! but he smokes... i'm probably guessing he's influence by the world... what to do.. but at least he does things well when he really have no choice left.. sort of like those 'driven by fear' type... fear of failing or something... bad but still good! i mean like at least he has a drive, n i'm guessing he's EQ n IQ is equally high as in how he 'begged' to join my group in my MP/SIP... n what can i say, he's good!! =)

Had a Vision
on Thursday, May 04, 2006, 8:48 AM

:: yesterday's news... ::

no comp so cannot blog everyday... but nothing to blog everyday anyway...

yesterday was labour day, i said i wanted to go out queenstown buy shoe but my mind tricked me into thinking labour day means everyshop is closed... so i told myself "better use this day to do my dance homework tt i owe for so long liao.." n once again, my laziness preveilled! i went into my deep slumber for many hrs til 6pm... then i wake up n say "ok, must do now!" as my hands reach out for the ps2 controller i said "ok, after dinner must do!" n dinner was at 11pm... by then i was way too tired so i continued playing all the way till 2am then sleep... n oso not to mention i keep tuning on to bsb's 4th album "incomplete"

i think i should stop listening... else i'm really gonna think i'm "incomplete" MUST remember still have God!

Had a Vision
on Tuesday, May 02, 2006, 10:35 AM