Fai†hfully Preparing my Fields for the Rain

:: Dearest and Beloved ::

Dear Samantha,
I have read your blog entry and i'm very sorry, please call me so we can talk. Silence solves nothing.

Dear God,
Please mould me to be a better person who knows how to love and care for people, remove my dislike in being with people and wanting to be alone. I believe you know what is best for me, and I thank you for everything you've gracefully given me, and all the times i've sin against you, you've always forgiven me.

Dear Blog,
After all the events, I seemed drained... i'm rather tired of entertaining people... I wish to stay on the introvert of myself, to be alone, to have some peace and quiet, to not see sms or msn coming in to go anywhere or do anything... but that seems far from possible.
Reality is just not like that... how I wish I can sleep all day and stay in my dreams where everything is the way I want them to be... but
Reality is just not like that...

God wants me to throw away my face, my pride, and my name so I can use my life, my body and my time to do the things I don't want and may not like to do the things that pleases others and pleases Him. Just like Jesus who prayed for His cup to be removed but follows up with letting God's will be done. I guess everyone has to make a sacrifice somehow...

But let us not give up now! For the Kingdom of God awaits us! So are the treasures He has prepared for us! Let us all continue to encourage each other in this narrow path that few follows.

Had a Vision
on Sunday, December 31, 2006, 5:53 PM

:: Deeply in thoughts... ::

Dear beloved heavenly Father,

Thank you for this month, for everything that happened, good, bad, positive or negative, I give you my full gratitude. The string of events had finally ended, despite the many disappointments, everything still ended perfectly because we believed everything that is put into your hands are made perfect.

God, please tell me why, i'm feeling very lost right now...
Before the events, I wrote down where I had time to breathe but apparently those dates were taken away with rehearsals and one of them was used to do bible study with pastor...
During the events I don't seem to have time to buy presents and had to do some rushing here and there... I did play some games in between nights to unwind myself...

I can't believe that my countdown was in the restroom... Something magical happened on the 24th event, Anfernee proposed to Kailin that night after the whole thing... how sweet... The church was remodelled to a new look with the stage moved and everything covered with black cloth with lights that looks like stars in the sky... There was a night event of treasure hunting that was rather cool but tiring... I spend the whole night in church until 7am i reached home and slept at 8am... so my whole Christmas was spent in bed sleeping...

After the string of events, I somehow feel that I've spend my whole december dealing with things rather than people, I seem to have not really talk to anyone during the whole month yet I could feel there were some who wanted my company but there seem to be no time! why!!??

Why did it rain for 48 hrs?! It rained so much i didn't go out at all... God, are u reminding me of the big umbrella you'd give me so i can cover many people younger and weaker than me..? Haiz...

Today, 27th Dec is my medical screening at CMPB, I'll be in army soon and i haven't trained... where has my motivation gone to? God, please tell me...

28th-29th is a ~~stupid~~ DotA competition... need to train... haiz... why did i join in the first place? stupid me!

30th I need to finish whatever i need to do for all my holiday assignments, reports, n projects...

I've been thinking alot about how lousy I am... I shall blog later... Gotta go for screening le...

God please help me...

Had a Vision
on Wednesday, December 27, 2006, 10:00 AM

:: Wow! New insights for positive thinking! ::

I found this website about dealing with negative people, it's great!

http://www.cfdevotionals.org/devpg99/de991103.htm

Had a Vision
on Saturday, December 16, 2006, 1:08 PM

:: We Are the Reason by Avalon ::

As little children
We would dream of Christmas morn
Of all the gifts and toys
We knew we'd find
But we never realized
A baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives

We were the reason
That He gave His life
We were the reason
That He suffered and died
To a world that was lost
He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live

As the years went by
We learned more about gifts
The giving of ourselves
And what that means
On a dark and cloudy day
A man hung crying in the rain
All because of love, all because of love

I've finally found the reason for living
It's in giving every part of my heart to Him
In all that I do every word that I say
I'll be giving my all just for Him, for Him

He is my reason to live

Had a Vision
on , 11:57 AM

:: Yay! i found it! Dreams by Diana Degarmo ::

Diana Degarmo - Dreams

Dreams are just dreams
When they're stuck inside your head
And all it takes is a little help from you
You know it's true
That dreams are for real
When you see what I see
And you feel it too
We took the longest road
Just to make it harder
Let's do it all again
It only makes us stronger

[Chorus:]
Dreams
I guess we're just made of dream
Nothin' else matters
As long as we believe
I'm lookin' at you
And I see my life
Passing before my eyes
And when the journey's over
And all my dreams come true
I'll dream of you

What do you see
When you look inside your heart
A little thought
Can walk a thousand miles
And change your life
When dreams lead the way
The impossible is suddenly in sight
Every step you take
Just brings it all together
You gotta keep the faith
When all seems lost forever

[Chorus]

You're the one
That keeps my hope alive
My vision clear
I'll spend my life with you
Conquer fear
We'll make it through

Nothin' else matters
As long as we believe
I'm lookin' at you
And I see my life
Passing before my eyes
And when the journey's over
And all my dreams come true
I'll dream of you
I'll dream of you
I'll dream of you

Had a Vision
on Friday, December 15, 2006, 4:12 PM

:: Unplugged! ::

ok, at such a crucial time my dad actually didn't pay the handphone bill n my line is cut?! well, all i can say is thank you God. Especially when my meimei using comp, then there is completely no way of contacting me! Peace at last...

Had a Vision
on Thursday, December 14, 2006, 12:43 AM

:: Lord of the Dance by Sonicflood ::

You're the Lord of the dance
You're the dancing Lord

Everybody dance now
In the Holy Spirit
Everybody love the One, love the One
Love the One, the One you love the most now
Can't nobody stop me now
Gonna give it all I got
Gonna run to You, run to You
Run to You, just like a child

It's just this love I have inside
(yeah, I want it)
I need Your presence in my heart
(yeah, I need it)
I want You love more each day
( more and more, Lord)
and when I dance before You, Lord
I'm gonna dance with all my might

Had a Vision
on Monday, December 11, 2006, 1:30 PM

:: LOL!!! wow! ::

Was reading through my last entry and realise my whole december is going to disappear very soon... i think the last part of my dec would probably be taken up to do my meimei's blog as i promised to finish her's by end of this month... then got holiday project i guess i'm probably left with nothing... jialat liao... lol

haha, it's 2 am n i came upon bahbah's blog with the that song!

2am and the rain is falling...

k, i gtg sleep le... big day ahead... a big day that's gonna last for a month...

Had a Vision
on Monday, December 04, 2006, 2:00 AM

:: Mr Gray Eyes went to church today ::

My eyes were in gray today... n it seems that the skies were in gray too lol...

yup! n because Mr Gray Eyes wanted to go, i was 15mins late... he gave me reasons like never wear b4, gray very cool, very scary, need to get use to it to prepare for upcoming events...

Then what were the comments today?
"Eh? why u never glasses today?" and... ya, that's all... sorry mr gray eyes, u scored -3 points today! sad...

Had a compilation of all the events coming... lets list em down to see where i can breathe...
December
4th - Deadline for VR project, UIR portfolio, Apel3's value reflection and PPDES project (all graded)
5th - full day from 8-5 then meeting cuixian jie after that then leading worship for prayer meeting
6th - sch from 8-12 then going NUS to get ipod with serling n zhijin, then meeting song de to hunt for dance clothes in the evening all through the night...
7th - sch from 11-4 then can breathe!! yay! for now...
8th - sch from 10-11 then can breathe for now also... cos still need to go through script with ly n sd n not to mention the dance how?
9th - Movie screening and hightea buffet need to invite ppl...
10th - Reserved time for God from 9-4 then start studying for term test le...
11th - term test week starts... study...
12th - first paper at 12.30-1.30, last paper at 3.30-4.30, yay! term test over! go prayer meeting to thank God!
13th - Holiday starts! cell thanksgiving in the evening! yay! got to get drinks for the potluck! what's the dress code again?
14th - Dance practice for 16th dec dance performance at paragon!
15th - Yujie and QQ's concert dunno wat time...
16th - Dance performance at paragon!!
17th - 19th - Dance Camp
19th - night time have full dress rehearsal for bodynits event on 21st dec
20th - A Breathe!!! finally!!!
21st - Bodynits event at Bodynits!!
22nd - Dance practice? for 23rd?
23rd - Full dress rehearsal for 24th dec christmas event then at evening have service
24th - The Big christmas event!!
25th - Merry Christmas!! opening empty boxes just to entertain myself in case i go mad... hmm... this is where that bercardi should come in handy...
26th - Meixia jie's BD
27th - Rui Shan's BD... i said i'd remember to greet her, i will.
28th onwards big breathes in n out b4 sch starts... oops i 4got to mention the holiday projects! sianz...

ok, i think i need a really big breathe tonight b4 tmr comes cos it's gonna be a long time b4 i can breathe again... what a life! =)

Had a Vision
on , 1:11 AM

:: Free Day!! ::

phew! it's been months since i could spend the whole day at home and guess what i did... the first thing was to start the com... visited some websites and i dunno what to use it for le... since i dun wanna play game, my sis took over the com so i watch tv loh... so very long since i touched the tv le...

After scrolling through my scv that i hardly use (waste seh) i came upon channel 11, the national geographic channel, n a very interesting show was on, Fight Science...

A show about how scientist and engineers work together to see how powerful martial artist are, the speed, the power and the damage that a human can actually cause with explaination on why and how it is done...

I was simply on the edge of my seat the whole time... to those who are interested and have scv, do catch it!

website: http://www9.nationalgeographic.com/channel/fightscience/index.html

Had a Vision
on Saturday, December 02, 2006, 5:38 PM