Fai†hfully Preparing my Fields for the Rain

:: Emotional control ::

Today's sermon touched me... even though it's a video... but it still touched me... starting was about unity and saying much God pleases to see us united as one... and about our natural instinct of liking to be with people that are like us with similar personalities... n hating to be with people that are different from us... example, if we are systematic and likes details, we would love to work with some1 who's systematic and detailed, but if we were creative and likes to try new things, it would be almost an immpossible to work with some1 who's go-by-the-book traditional type...

He continued by saying that despite knowing this, God knows yet He still puts us with those people we don't like... becos we are 1 body, many parts...

later the pastor talked about emotional control, how moses lost his temper and was forbidden to go into the promised land... he explained that the bible did not tell us to hold back our temper, to put it inside, to contained it and act as if we christians never get angry... No! he continued with his experience of cooking cabbage over a limit that it popped and if we contained our anger it will be like the cabbage exploding and dealing alot of damage... den he continued with his experience of him containing his anger... until he reached a point of realising God is telling him not to serve anymore if "shifeng yue duo, lao wo yue duo (More Serving equals to More bringing back of old self)"

now that really hit me into tears... (i hid them) cos that's what i'm feeling recently... I kept thinking I'm not serving enough... but the more I serve the more tired i seem to get, the harder it seems to love, and the easier i lose my temper...

Just now, i lost it... i just burst in my house... dun wanna talked about it... cos it's over liao... all the broken pieces of cabbage and glass all over the place now... getting cleared up by God... blogged it in my private blog... the title was...

Love..? I don't know what is it anymore...

so can someone reading this, remind me again of what it is... n also remind me that we humans are not perfect... so i guess a perfect love doesn't exist either in the mortal realm...

oh ya, just know YuHan said she very Xianmu my hair... but i wanted to say to her now that how much i xianmu her... How much I would have in exchange to have a christian family, a family of love, a family of God...

Had a Vision
on Sunday, April 08, 2007, 11:17 PM