Fai†hfully Preparing my Fields for the Rain

:: Lessons learnt... ::

After coming back, I realise something... about me not wanting to grow up... I'm not the only one... I realise that many around me are actually subconciously not wanting to grow up while I'm the other way round, subconciously wanting to grow up but I'm conciously not wanting to... trying to push away everything that lies before me... the expectations and the responsibilities...

Yes! When I talk about grown up stuff, it's about respnsibilities! Grown ups are suppose to be responsible for everything they do or say, for every action taken in life onwards. And right now I'm so pissed with some people around me... subconciously pushing responsibility to me like i'm some sort of rubbish bin... Expecting me to do the planning, the organising, the actions, the calling up of people to confirm meetings, the looking of information, the thinking of ideas, and putting the ideas into actions... writing all these just pisses me off... (Warning! Do not splash water on me at this time or something bad might happen)

I know I have some leadership qualities and I'm bound to be a leader somewhere at some point of time but I'm really really trying to pull myself together... I'm currently in a phase between childhood and adulthood called growing up... I still feel like a jigsaw puzzle not yet fixed, a mystery not yet solved, a color not yet painted...

God, I thank you for having mercy on me, I also thank you for all the grace you've given me despite how slow I learn, despite how unwilling I am to grow up, I know you've always been patient with me Lord.
I pray that you would help me give up my childish ways, and help me slowy accept the fact that I have to grow up, to face the real problems, to take up responsibilities that will help lead your people to the light and stay on the right way.
I know you've given me courage not to talk cocky infront of people and taking up stupid dares of eating wasabi but rather the courage to face reality, courage to stand on this dark world alone, courage to stand up after every defeat. Please teach me to use this gift that you have given me graciously to glorify your name, to give light to the lost souls and to be the one who lifts up that big umbrella that protects the ones weaker than me from the storms of life...
I Jesus Christ most precious name I pray.
Amen.

Had a Vision
on Friday, April 06, 2007, 1:58 AM