Fai†hfully Preparing my Fields for the Rain

:: The transformation ::

After last week big experience and change in perspective, the whole week passed by rather quickly.

But with every light, there is darkness...

I became more impatient as I knew the importance of time and didn't want to do anything that might waste it. So as a result, I got angry quite a few times in camp at a few ppl.

I'm turning more dominating, more decisive, more leader-like...

This is just BMT... I wonder what I would become after command school...

Had a Vision
on Sunday, November 25, 2007, 7:48 PM

:: ATM ::

A new word I created... it doesn't mean that thing people use for drawing money but rather something I use for drawing strength to carry on despite all the shit...

ATM... Appreciating The Moment...

This week was bad... especially the last few days where my rifle got stun... Den kanna guard duty for my sat... I tried my best to guard my rifle during field camp and sitest so I dun kanna guard duty for weekend, I even volunteered to do earlier on so the lots wun even kanna me... but becos of my carelessness...

My time spent during guard duty has taught me this new skill called ATM...

Weekend duties are 24hrs... 3 details, this time i took detail 1, n my slots are 0600-0800, 1200-1400, 1800-2000, 0000-0200... so as u can see, I walked thru the blazing afternoon, the romantic dusk, the cold midnight and the dreamy dawn, what's more is that my duty place is TFT (Tekong Ferry Terminal) so basically I walked thru the hot sun, walked past both the sunset and sunrise, and under the moonlight. During my walk, I realise how beautiful the world really is... I started to realise how beautiful everything was...

When I booked out that sunday morning, despite knowing I'll be booking in the afternoon on the same day, I booked out feeling full of hope, love, joy and peace... The bus trip from sft to pasir ris den to my home never felt so relaxing before... just staring out the window while the bus moves never felt so peaceful b4...

At home, a shower never felt so refreshing, my boaster never felt so soft, my clothes never felt so comfortable b4...

In church, a simple 'hello' from a simple someone never felt soothing to hear b4, the smiles never felt so heart warming b4, the casual chattering sound never felt so tranquilizing b4...

Later during lunch at Eastpoint, a meal of unagi never tasted so sweet b4, even the simple conversation between brothers never felt so strong b4...

After I booked in, though my time spent as a civillian was short and I only manage to do just a few things but it was 1 of the most memorable day as the same things done were being seen from a different perspective... This is what I call... living.

Had a Vision
on Sunday, November 18, 2007, 5:07 PM

:: OCS ::

I've decided to go to OCS despite my little chance of going in...

So why do you want to go OCS?
Ans: For Honor and Glory... To honor my parents and to glorify God!

Do you know what it takes to go OCS?
Ans: Nope, but I'm ready and willing to take whatever that's coming.

Are you doing it for money?
Ans: Yes, the amount of money from how much I'm going to sweat out these 2 years is nothing compared to the price my parents have paid for the last 21 years of my upbringing. This is the least I can do to repay them.

It's not easy in OCS, do you think you can take it?
Ans: I have a notion, or rather a believe... I believe that whatever does not destroy/kill me, will definitely makes me stronger.

Finally, what makes you think you can go OCS?
Ans: For now, I can only hope for the best.

Had a Vision
on , 4:47 PM

:: fewlin lonely... ::

i'm having that fewlin of loniliness again but no time to blog about it cos i gtg back camp le... T_T

Had a Vision
on Sunday, November 11, 2007, 7:22 PM

:: long time no dance ::

it's also been 2 months since i last teach hip hop dance and i felt lost just now when i was teaching cos of the sudden change in environment. One minute I was commanding a group of well discipline botak heads who moves upon command and the next minute was a group of girls who was pretty much the opposite...

While I was conducting, they talk and laugh and basically doing their own things, they take their time to gather, even to walk into position of 1 meter away seems to take them 1 full minute to do so, they dance at their own timing, no sync at all, I wanted to just scream and shout out loud at them like I would usually do in camp but...

I thought that if I did, their soft little body would just collapse... their lovely big round eyes would burst into tears and their hearts would sink...

After the break the standard of pose was just cannot make it, I wanted to scream but their sweet, high pitch, low tone giggles just drowned my voice, their long, silky hair soften me from head to toe, basically just looking at them just melts my heart to the core...

Or probably it's God who melted my heart...

Had a Vision
on , 5:17 PM

:: Bee movie ::

it's nice... very funny... it's been 2 months since i last watch movie... feels strange...

Had a Vision
on , 5:14 PM

:: POP soon ::

I'm gonna POP soon but I dun feel ready for it. To be posted out. I worry I might not get to OCS because of my IPPT results. I haven't take my sit test, imt and SOC yet... n i already know there are people better than me in SOC... for IPPT, in my platoon, there's already 2 gold medalist and 1 of them wants to go OCS as well, now that slims my chance of going already. After hearing how sit test is going to be, I have a feeling I might not do well due to my slow thinking ability in solving problems.

God, I need you... No matter how talented or how lousy I am, God I know you are in charge of everything that happens. You know if I'm going into OCS or SISpec, but no matter where I go, make me thankful for wherever I may end up in. I still strongly feel that going to OCS would be the real test for me b4 I become a true leader. So Lord, I pray that if it's not too much to ask for, I would like to be place in OCS for the training and moulding of a leader, one that you can use for your kingdom. God, first remove my pride that the honor would bring so that I do not put your name to shame, but rather teach me how to use the honor to glorify your name. In Jesus Christ most precious name I pray, amen.

Had a Vision
on Saturday, November 10, 2007, 12:08 PM

:: Field camp ::

Coming back from field camp, I'm starting to appreciate things more now...
After not bathing for 6 days, I'm so thankful I can bath everyday despite the cold water used in tekong...
After sleeping in a dirty basha for 2 nights, a shell scrape (grave) for 2 nights and half naked in the storm for the last night, I realize how blessed I am to have a queen size bed at home with air con... it also gave me the ability to sleep in any condition as long as time and space allows it.
After having 5 days of heat rash, I've come to realize the importance of water parade and properly hydrating myself.
After moving in pitch darkness, I realize how important light is.
After being a platoon IC for 5 days, I've realize how not easy it is to lead, to motivate, to touch people.

Basically after the field camp, I've become more fearless. More stronger. More Man!~

Had a Vision
on , 11:53 AM