Fai†hfully Preparing my Fields for the Rain

:: Am I in the wrong world? ::

In FF7, Cloud gets to meet these 3 girls...

Aeris Gainsborough

Young, beautiful and mysterious, a dream girl, the graceful healer

Tifa Lockheart

Bright and optimistic, always trying to cheer others up when they're down

Yuffie Kisaragi

Uniquely witty and confident but comes with an attitude and motive

but yuna is in ff10! And only Tidus gets to meet her! but i dun like tidus...

Yuna

Seems reserved, intelligent and serious at first,but turns out to be a kind-hearted, and more open and direct person who can dance!

Had a Vision
on Tuesday, December 25, 2007, 12:14 PM

:: The more we can't get, the more we want ::

wa liew... her parents know liao... her dad dun allow her go out liao... i wonder how she asked...

neh mind, neh mind...
cos I believe that determination can win the race, for it is determination that brought me to OCS!

Qoutes!
Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting
Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.
Failure is the path of least persistence.
Whatever you do, don't do it halfway.
While they were saying among themselves it cannot be done, it was done.
Will you look back on life and say, "I wish I had," or "I'm glad I did"?
People of mediocre ability sometimes achieve outstanding success because they don't know when to quit.
I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.
I don't think anything is unrealistic if you believe you can do it.
Where there is no shame, there is no honor.
Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow.
By perseverance the snail reached the ark.
Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.
Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
The greater the difficulty, the more glory in surmounting it.
Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently

Had a Vision
on , 12:51 AM

:: Christmas in wonderland ::

WAS GREAT!!!

though it started late like always, singaporeans have this really really predictable bad habit of being 'accidently' late... So we started late loh... but neh mind... i think we only miss out the cocktail session...

We manage to set up our decorations just on time... It looked great! Except that it seems to some ppl it's like an unorthodox place n also i think it looks kinda messy. So ya, it can definitely be improved further... Like more 3d objects to take picture with, to sit on, to use as tables, to play with? possible... Many ppl brought camera to take pictures but surprisingly, the hard worked 2d pictures weren't really the attention but rather the people, SO i was thinking a costume party would be a blast! I can tease ppl more easily... Another thing about the background pictures, maybe a few interesting/matching bible verses can be put up or some inspiring short stories would be good in a way that those who like to read can just happen to see and recieve, get what i mean... They also can serve as time-killers for early comers...

The initial Icebreaker wasn't that good cos it didn't really broke any ice but the time span was just nice! rite b4 we got bored... We could have played games like 'big wind blow' or 'wildfire!' to jumble up the people though the 'gao lou da sha' was good i have to admit... despite the fact that i dun like losing...

Whereas for the food... can be better... yup... can be better... more drinks needed! more variety of finger food! n why no cocktail?! Ice cream also leh! why no jelly!! Oreo cheesecake is NICE!!! A bar would be nice, along with a bartender! Serving only mocktails (non-alcoholic of course) Or maybe have different stalls for different food in case if some ppl dun eat any particular food like my fren who dun eat beef or wad if there were a vegeterian in the future... Where's the salad n mashed potatoes!?!?! n how can there not be pizza in a party???!!!

The idea of the exchange gift was great! Just that if everyone can go in together at the same time would be better, n more balloons needed also... The idea of the board games is great as well, much fun n 'havoc' was created! Just that my fren feedback that there should be more whole group games so that everyone can know everyone which i still think it's highly not possible unless every1 is comfortable enough to be open enough to play openly... get my jig... We can purposely make a game show thingy to stop them from playing for a moment so we can have tea break den continue with a different group of ppl for playing the board games...

I think I can make the next or next next christmas party a bigger blast! It'll be called "Christmas on Cloud 9"

Had a Vision
on Monday, December 24, 2007, 1:50 AM

:: The never answered question ::

"Why do you like/love him/her?"

At some point in life, someone will ask somebody, somewhere, somehow this question. I've thought about this question and come to realise that true love cannot answer this question.

Simply because you don't need a reason to love.

While attraction is a chemical reaction in our body described as an emotion, it just happens at an instant naturally like when there is a need, protein is produced and used for the growth and repair of tissue in the body, like how endorphins are realease in the body to reduce the sensation of pain when needed, like how vitamin D is naturally produced in our body when exposed to the ultraviolet light of the sun. Attraction is pretty much an unavoidable chemical process in the body when it thinks a certain criteria is met.

Had a Vision
on Thursday, December 20, 2007, 3:50 PM

:: Black, white and grey are my favourite colors ::

Why like black, white and grey... they are all boring colors!

Before I answer this...

First, let me tell a story... Let's put myself in a 3rd person view of this story about a little boy who grew to like the color black, white and grey.

Once upon a time, there lived an ugly little skinny boy named, B, he had quite a bad life all the way during his pre-teen up to his teen, in school he used to be bullied not only by his classmates but even his teachers. Slowly, he grew to hate everyone and everything, walking alone, thinking that the world is just a grey and wished that he was dead at times.

One day, someone came to him and became his fren, sacrificing the normal life he had knowing that he too will be condemned if he becomes the friend of the already condemned. He started with a smile, shook hands and introduced himself. Soon they became friends but he too was under the condemn list, despite his efforts in persuading the others to stop. Later realising he was a christian, he told many things that were rather difficult to comprehend at that time but later in life then he understand what had happened...

B's life slowly turned colorful, year by year, in his secondary school life, he started to make friends, the new teachers started to like him, his grades started to become better and better and eventually he got a scholarship. He come to realise how beautiful the world actually is after his 2nd encounter with another pleasant smile of a christian. So as a big brother, he gave advice to his mei on how to go thru life in secondary school as to avoid the bumps he had when he was there...

While going thru into his poly life, he seemed to have gotten quite a good life but something was still missing... he felt a deep sensation of emptiness at times when going to school, when going home, when sleeping alone... He tot he didn't have enough friends and so made even more and his life turned even more colorful, meeting up with different people everyday. So it became a process of more and more.

More also means more, like what the saying of what goes up must come down. There many happy moments as well as sad ones. He started to dislike people once again, as he realise that each individual is different in a way or another... Prefering to walk alone den with many becos he felt that he couldn't handle the different way he had to adopt to the different types of people he met. And everyone he met stirs up a different sets of emotion. Like paint, when too many colors stir together, they form a very dirty color, a color that becomes irreversible. Stiring and stiring to a point he couldn't take it, he can only pour in 1 color to cover everything up... that is black...

Denying everything he ever had, he closed himself up and swore never to open the gates of his heart to anyone ever again. Every other color that came after pass off as nothing but a shadow except for the white smiles that came, but the only color left now was different scales of the color grey...

Had a Vision
on , 9:36 AM

:: If infatuation was a disease ::

If infatuation is a disease, then I guess my condition has just worsened...

This morning I was awoken by the deep but shallow heartbeat sound of a heavy heart which has been left unattended till I slumbered into my dreams with a silent roll of tear unknown to the people there at that point of time.

If infatuation is an illness, then I guess i'm on the next critical level...

Images of a person I hardly know keeps flashing up in memory, the words said and heard, the things done together foolishly or wisely, the food ate together quickly or slowly, the sms sent and received.

If infatuation is a virus, then I guess it has grown larger...

Trivial comments from people about us suddenly seemed unreasonably important, and everything else important seems to have diminished to nothing more to cared for. Someone I hardly know seems like the only living organism alive while everyone else who used to be close friends suddenly fades into nothing but bacteria floating around.

Had a Vision
on , 8:54 AM

:: The real challenge ::

It's happening again... The world seems to have become a better place, everything seems to be in perfect harmony, and everyone else's comments doesn't matter anymore, as this one ordinary person suddenly seems to stand out and ridiculously seems to be so called perfect...

Scientifically speaking, this is called Infatuation

When two people are attracted to each other, a virtual explosion of adrenaline-like nuerochemicals gush forth. Fireworks explode and we see stars. PEA or phenylethylamine is a chemical that speeds up the flow of information between nerve cells.

Also, involved in chemistry are dopamine and norepinephrine, chemical cousins of amphetamines. Dopamine makes us feel good and norepinephrine stimulates the production of adrenaline. It makes our heart race!

These three chemicals combine to give us infatuation or "chemistry." It is why new lovers feel euphoric and energized, and float on air. It is also why new lovers can talk all night for weeks on end.

Also Infatuation can last from as fast as it started to a few years, n may or may not end up in a so called "happy ending"

Knowing all this clearly shows my understanding about the vast emotions that are currently surging thru my biological body which also shows how mentally prepared that I've become...

But Now!
The real challenge is the choice I'm going to make which will show how mentally matured I really really am.

Had a Vision
on , 12:44 AM

:: Wishlist! ::

Black Backpack
Belt
Tie
Boxers
~~Black Shoe bag~~ Thx to JH, CM, YT
Shoes for street dancing
Water bottle
Maple Card
~~Laptop~~
Stereo Set/Speakers
Chocolates
Desktop
~~Boaster~~ thx to my beloved meimei
Pillow
Black Cloak/cape with hood
Jeans
Baggy Tee shirts
Customized Polo Tee
Customized Jacket/Windbreaker
Buff
Car
House
Decorative Swords
Girlfriend + Wedding Ring >>> Wife
Kids

Had a Vision
on Monday, December 17, 2007, 11:49 PM

:: Flag Day ::

Flag day was tiring... really really tiring... met alot of people... saw many chio bu... had different perfume smell... got 1 very nice sia...

While the flag day thingy... I was pretty slack... cos tired la... den no motivation so we spent quite some time travelling... spent quite an amount on the travelling fees too...

Then at one point, me n yuhan went to anyhow walk around singapore liao... we had no idea where we were going, whatever place we were at we just roam there, I remember having the mini donuts at Central which was like super nice loh...

Then finally, we reached church to return my stuffs... den i saw someone with a new hairstyle like Yuna...

nice...

btw, Yuna starts with the letter "Y" and the second letter is "u"... and she's also from Final Fantasy X...

Had a Vision
on Sunday, December 16, 2007, 1:21 AM

:: Oh Santa! ::

Santa, I've never ask anything from you ever... but now I would really really really really really really really appreciate it if you can give me a water bottle this Christmas... And if possible I would really like that black cape/cloak I saw at the costume shop a month ago which was on sale which isn't available anymore now...

Now I'm planning to make 1 myself... and I wanna look like this...

The Medieval Thief

Or better, a more modern thief, a Shadow Warrior

Or simply Victor Delacroix

Had a Vision
on Friday, December 14, 2007, 10:03 PM

:: Holiday Plans! ::

K, I have got to write down my plans for this holiday and execute them properly...

5 Basic Exercise shall continue till I go to my new vocation... Exercises includes a run to pasir ris park followed by at least 12 chin up, 100 inclined sit-ups, 100 push-ups and 50 tuck jumps??

Wed ended, with time spend on POP, a 2 hr sleep n helping out with X'mas decor...

Thurs ended, with a 2 hr 5BX right after my 3 hr sleep den followed by a movie, "Alvin and the Chipmunks", followed by the rest of the day helping to paint the X'mas decor den finally a 30mins supper a 85...

Fri - 0615 do 5BX, go home bath n sleep, 1200 meet bugis for lunch followed by shopping spree... gotta get a pouch for morning runs, a new toothbrush, and razor blades for my shaver... and finally alot of presents... n not to 4get dry ice, n my cloak...

15 Dec, Sat - 0615 meet yuhan at pasir ris mrt, 7am-7pm flag day, night event unknown yet...

16 Dec, Sun - 0930 service, 1330 dance, 1530 continue with X'mas decor until lights off???

17 Dec, Mon - 0615 5BX, (Admin time), Major event: Section meeting (dinner, movie, pool)

18 Dec, Tues - 0615 5BX, (Admin time), Night event: Prayer Meeting

19 Dec, Wed - 0615 5BX, may be going to sentosa which I dun really feel like going...

20 Dec, Thur - 0615 5BX, Preparation for night activity, Major Event: BBQ!!!

21 Dec, Fri - 0615 5BX, 1000 posting result out! Night event: Celebration???

22 Dec, Sat - 0615 5BX, Pack Bag, Standby Bed???

23 Dec, Sun - X'mas Party!!!

24 Dec, Mon - X'mas Eve!!!

25 Dec, Tues - Christmas!!!

Wed - Go camp le... =(

Had a Vision
on , 1:45 AM

:: Falcon! Falcon! All the way! ::

Falcon shirt design sux! Even our CSM thinks so too... Our section decided to make 1 for our section... I'm one of the designers... Here's what I've mixed and come up with...

So how? Which is nicer?

Falcon?

The Falcon Warriors?

Or the Falcon Knights

And btw, I like the wings I found so I think a customized 1 like this for me should be nice rite...

Had a Vision
on Thursday, December 13, 2007, 1:56 AM

:: Someone else's dream... ::

POP loh... when the jockey cap was thrown... I felt relieved, like I was set free...

But now it feels like I have nothing to do... I used to yearn for the freedom, and now I have it yet I do not know how to use it...

So I started to think alot... again...

Someone today msn me and told me I was being dreamt of... and in that dream I was sad...

I have to admit, it really is what I'm feeling now... I feel like i'm in a dark room, sitting on ~~a chair~~ the floor with my head down, and there's nothing around me, nobody, just me sitting there and only a ray of dim light shining down on me from nowhere...

In this world of darkness
Full of sorrow and despair
It's a world full of mystery
Full of dreams and nightmares

Aimlessly hovering around
Secretly without a sound
Moving round and round
Helplessly left unfound

Don't know where to go
Don't know what to do
Don't know why feeling so low
Maybe don't have anyone to talk to...

Nothing to look back on
Nothing to look forward to
The past has already gone
The future is yet to come

Now might seem to early
Later might seem to late
When is the right time
God please give me a sign!

Had a Vision
on , 12:00 AM

:: My best for IPPT(BMT) ::

AHHH!

took my last IPPT quite long ago.

and guess what.

I didn't get gold...

Here are my results...

Pull ups : 13 (12 for 5 points)
Standing Broad Jump: 239 cm (4 points, 243cm for 5 points)
Sit ups : 56 (40 for 5 points)
Shuttle run : 9.4 seconds (10secs for 5 points)
2.4km: 10.40 minutes (4 points, 10.19mins for 5 points and 9.44mins for Gold)
Total: 23 points!!!

BUT I got silver!! And I'm totally happy with my result! I'd say it's a great success for me cos I know I've done my best to become the best of what I can become for now. I will continue to strife for a better me today, and an even better me tmr...

Had a Vision
on Sunday, December 09, 2007, 6:08 PM