Fai†hfully Preparing my Fields for the Rain

:: Tunnel of Life ::

I feel like my love life is a walk in a tunnel.. I've already chosen the way that's diagonally up, steep and narrow. It's a hard walk especially when the light at the end seems so far away.

Along the way, I see alot of light bulb hanging at the side.. Most are unlit, many are broken, some have fallen, a few are lit and once in a while a bright one appears.. I look forward to everytime I see the bright ones till I stumbled upon an ember. It was almost dying and somehow I could feel the warmth still around... it seems someone has made a fire but have left the scene.

Slowly, I tried to revive it... slowly blowing it for 2 years! Till I got frustrated and blew till it ignite into flames! I quickly gathered twigs and dried leaves to feed the fire, for half a year I kept going back and forth to get different resources to feed the flame till I became tired... So I sat down and watched the fire die. I left the place with the ember still glowing and continued into the darkness.

As I walked, I realise after every week there is a particularly bright bulb, the brightest I ever saw. So I took it as my motivation for my walk, looking forward to the end of every week. I became really dependent on it until I reached an even darker, rougher and steeper slope. As I entered this new path, I picked up a torch which I found at the start of the new path.. It looked familiar, like someone I knew used it before but threw away due to some reason.

I lit it up and it gave me warmth and light but somehow it was flickering like it would die any moment, it gave off little sparks like as if it was speaking to me. I made it my new companion, taking it with me along the way. I still didn't forget about the light bulb that came every end of the week so I still look forward to it, admiring its presence and warmth each time I see it, neglecting the the torch I already have in my hands.

Suddenly, I fell and injured myself so I persevered till the crossroad and took a detour on an easier path. Slowly, the torch seems to have become stronger, burning even brighter and warmer than the bright light bulb that I just ignore the the bulbs completely. Then my path seems to be taking a big detour in a wrong direction, I no longer see the light bulbs and I got scared, confused and lost so I became very dependent on the torch.

But just last night, the torch just suddenly gave up on me and died... I tried to revive it but I couldn't and I don't understand why...

I'll still be holding onto this dead torch... hoping it will one day reignite...

Had a Vision
on Thursday, May 29, 2008, 8:12 AM