Fai†hfully Preparing my Fields for the Rain

:: Wrong Lane ::

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Yesterday was I think the longest day I've been through..
5am woke up, 5am reach home...

Booked in, do the usual runners stuff known to many as "Sai Kang" finally ended at 5pm, after my boss do that stupid powerpoint slide so retardedly...

Then excitedly I changed, do up my hair, and rushed off to town to get tickets for 'What happens in Vegas' nice movie, made me think alot... again... I love/hate shows with meaning.. they make me think! Contemplate! Speculate! Reflect! Ponder over such little things in life... Then again, it's the little things that makes a big difference, no?

So ya, I went on a movie date with a girl... OOooo!!!

Shh!

You'd probably ask, "how'd it go?"
I'd probably reply, "Mmm..." *roll my eyes and smile* "Okay loh."
Then you'd say sarcastically, "ehh..."

BUT

honestly speaking, deep down inside I feel rather lost...
cos I felt, I knew, I must, I could, but I didn't cos I wouldn't cos I shouldn't...
A part of me says, "Why didn't I say this or do that?"
Another part says, "No! I shouldn't! It'll only make things complicated.. I don't wanna ruin what we have now.."
Another part says, "Why not!? It would have been fun! Nothing ventured, nothing gained, remember?"
Another part says, "No! It's not a nice thing to do/say!"
Another part says, "But nice guys never win! Don't you get it?! Don't you wanna win?!! It's a win-win situation!!! Both of you will be happy!!!"
Another part says, "No, It's not about winning, it's about doing the right thing."
Another part says, "The right thing is knowing what you want and getting what you want."

Anyway, after sending her home I felt I needed to remove this uncomfortable feeling so I met up with the gang. We had supper, and went driving all over the place looking for the cemetry just for a thrill. Upon reaching 3am and finally finding the place, we off the music and drove slowly then played with the automatic window and door... Seriously, I was freakin scared lah! But it was freakin fun! Wanna do it again!

And about the title, it was written in my calender for today and it reminded me of yesterday when ZJ drove on the wrong lane, and the other 'should not do things' like going 160km/hr, shouting to other drivers, and just simply making a fool out of ourselves, childishly trying to forget all the things that are coming my way currently... haiz...

Had a Vision
on Saturday, May 17, 2008, 2:58 PM