:: My last few minutes... ::

Ok, enough of the saddenning talks and post!

It's time to meet new people, open bigger networks!

Make everyone see how big this light of Christ can glow!

Sword of Honour, wait for me... I'm coming for you...

World, wait and see what I am capable of!

People, think whatever you want now, I'm going to prove myself!

Fear, HAH! Laughing at you!!

Fate, KISS MY ***! I decide my own fate!!

Had a Vision
on Sunday, June 29, 2008, 8:18 PM

:: Broken Glass are dangerous ::

I feel like...



Broken pieces of glass...

Helplessly lying there, waiting to be swept away cos there's no hope of me being repaired.. only renewed..

Anyone who tries to pick me up, or fix me will unlikely not to get hurt...

Same goes for anyone who step on me without proper protection...

Haiz...

Had a Vision
on , 7:52 PM

:: A big "Haiz..." for mankind! ::

What a time to write a poem
At this very happy yet sad moment

Excited about the end state of what I want
Afraid of the process that's just not fun

Can't wait for the day I throw my cap
Don't wanna carry again that heavy bag

Wishing to hold that shiny gold dream sword
Wishing to skip the battles that must be fought

Wanting to wear with pride that white uniform
Cannot tahan the smell of the green uniform

God bless me, I need more than just luck
Cos I know very well how much I suck...

Dunno what to write, dunno what to say
After writing, I still feel the same way...

Haiz...

Had a Vision
on , 5:51 PM

:: Remorseful Dream... ::

I neglected a v-fly and it almost died until a bird dropped a note to remind me, I quickly went to save it and luckily it didn't die... I tried to explain my actions and apologise saying I should be stung by a million bees for what I've done but it just sat there and said nothing...

Suddenly, I was quarreling with poot... we kept quarreling and fighting and dividing what's ours cos we sort of 'going on our own way' then my sis started interupting, so did my dad and another person. I couldn't take it and burst out loud in anger, telling everybody what to do then I asked poot, "Why are we even fighting for?!"

Silence broke... Everyone just stared in awe...

Suddenly, I was at the top floor of some bunglow or shophouse doing something and these 2 girls are somehow really upset at something I did, then they keep making me do wierd stuff, drink wierd stuffs and really having fun at doing them on me like I'm some plaything, of course I played along and they were shock yet still having fun.. I could somehow understand how they feel but didn't know what wrong I've done to deserve that but I'm happy to make them smile once again...

"Welcome to Symphony 92.4FM!!"
Awoken by my radio alarm clock... sat up and wonder why my subconscious mind was thinking about feeling regret, sorry and apologetic... hmmm...

Are dreams just dreams? Or do they really reflect on what you are really feeling deep inside...

Had a Vision
on , 8:30 AM

:: What a way to blog! ::

lol, was blog hopping and went to Stickgirl's blog... so funny... All pictures... And they definitely say much more than words!

Had a Vision
on Saturday, June 28, 2008, 12:29 PM

:: Anna Tsuchiya ::

Was born to a Japanese mother and a Russian American father. GAN CHIO LA!

Random pics... trying to find that girl in my dreams haha...

Had a Vision
on , 11:09 AM

:: huh? A Dream? ::

I was in a copper with a few others... A voice suddenly told me that the pilot was infected with the virus and is already in the process of turning into the undead.
The beast quickly grabbed him and wrestled him till they both fell off the copper, the undead pilot gave off a last burst of energy beam through the beasts chest and they both fell as I watched, someone told me he'll be alright cos he's the beast.
Then Anna, the team captain took over the copper and landed us safely in base where we were briefed about the situation. Pilot got infected cos he went into the woods for some reason and apparently the virus is in the woods.
I heard a voice saying that I'm one of the few who will never get the virus so it's up to us. I was then deployed to join Anna and her team for a whole day standby mission from 0800 - 2300.

I woke up late, and realise I had a movie with jh, sd and another person, the movie is at 11 but I delayed till 11.45 thinking the movie was at 12. I quickly put on my no. 4 and realise I 4got what attire I'm suppose to wear and the time I had to report for standby. I didn't go for the movie in the end and went back camp to report only to realise I was super late but when I told them I'm going for recourse, they said never mind and took my name off the list. I was stumped.

And suddenly I was catching fishes in a pond with my bare hands, if I miss, the fish would jump up and pop a bubble in my face. I manage to catch a few big ones then there was this particular fish that would attack back with it's fins, it was super hard to catch and it keep spinning to hurt me but funny I not pain.
There was another person catching with me I think she's my mei, we continued catching as I was lectured how to catch them. Suddenly all the fishes had human faces. I was quite surprised at one particular one that jumped out going "Woooooh!" and I caught it, threw it with the rest, it looked familar so I asked it remembers me, but it didn't talk, his eyes were open looking ok but I think he's dead.
I continued to fish using new tactics luring them to jump up near the bay where I punched them together with the rest, this was when I finally caught the very difficult fish along with his wife who just crawled up my leg obliviously onto the boat then tried to struggle back to sea but was pushed back by me. I was happy but was thinking why these fishes had face? Are they having their afterlife?

I woke up and pain and think why I had such a wierd dream... I'm still thinking...

There seem to be something to do with my civilian life and army life. And who the **** is Anna? She's tall, dark, fit and is a captian!! Anna Williams from Tekken?

The beast and zombie shooting energy beam from their mouths and the wierd fishes doesn't seem to imply anything I know so far... O_o

Had a Vision
on , 10:05 AM

:: Tunnel of life (cont.) ::

Not before long as I continued into the cold darkness, I slowed downed as my vision blurred, my bones stiffen and I became sleepy...

But suddenly, I was awaken by the slightest warmth from firefly. I started chasing after it going completely off course but I desperately wanted the warmth so I didn't care where I was going. The more I gave chase, the more off course I went until I realise I couldn't catch it, because it flew up to the lamp...

I'm giving up, but now I've lost my direction. I've lost my sight. I keep stumbling. I keep falling. How do I go back? Why am I such a wreck?

Had a Vision
on Friday, June 27, 2008, 10:10 PM

:: Misconstrued ::

I feel like...



Casper, the friendly ghost

Like a rabbit stuck in a body of a dragon, trying to fit into the rabbit family.


Misunderstood like a




White Dragon with a pure heart yet mocked at for bad intentions.


Misjudged like a




Gold Dragon with a heart of gold yet seen as fierce and overpowering.


Misplaced like a




Spirit Dragon with a gentle heart yet people run at the very sight of him.


Misconceived like a




Blue Dragon, calm and peaceful yet his very presence made many shiver.


Misread like a




Green Dragon, just trying to blend into the background yet still seen as a threat.



All because of
a slip of anger, and a fall into darkness...




Is it so hard to find my world?

Had a Vision
on , 5:20 PM

:: Re-plan ::

Ok, my plan failed again.. but fret not! I shall change plan!

29 Aug 2008
Come back from Brunei alive with a JCC badge

20 Sept 2008
Pass TP and get driving license

13 Dec 2008
Commission with Sword of Honour
or at least
Sword of Merit
Parade Commander
Contingent Commander

July - Sept 2009 Age:23
Look out for application for degree courses

14 Sept 2009 Age:23
ORD with $10k Cash at Bank

Oct - Dec 2009 Age:23
Look out for application for degree courses if miss the previous intake

30 Jan 2010 Age:24
Made a choice of going to NTU for BFA degree in Visual Communication
or go SIM for BSc / BSc (Honours) degree in Multimedia Technology and Design
or go LASALLE for BA (Hons) degree in Graphic Design / Advertising Design
or go NAFA for BA (Hons) degree in Visual Communication with Business
or found a job as Multimedia Designer/Web Designer/Copywriter/Illustrator/Game Designer/Game Producer
Joined a dance group in Esplanade
Joined Studio Wu and/or O School for constant lessons

Feb - April 2010 Age:24
Look out for application for degree courses if miss the previous intake

30 Jan 2011 Age:25
Started part-time in Studio Wu/O School as a Dance Instructor
Found a girlfriend to start settling down... finally... hopefully someone I really really really like and not just infatuated with appears...

30 Jan 2013 Age:27
Graduated with a degree
Plan proposal to get married and really really settle down
or not, get into a firm and start my career

30 Jan 2016 Age:30
Working quite steadily, saving up for a house and family
or at least must get married else can go die liao

30 Jan 2021 Age:35
Migrate to Australia!

30 Jan 2050 Age:64
Retire!
Start Writing Books!

30 Jan 2071 Age:85
Come back Singapore to collect CPF??? o_O

Had a Vision
on Thursday, June 26, 2008, 12:27 PM

:: Cristopher - People Change ::

Years pass, nothing stays the same
You grow older and you start to change
Little things, like the food we eat
And what time that we fall asleep
We make choices that are way more wise
Like which friends we keep within our lives
Growing up is something not to fear
The truth comes out much more clear

I don’t know but I’ve been told
That it’s a hard road getting low
We change a little bit every day
That’s okay cause people change

[chorus]
People change and that’s okay
How boring would it be if we stayed the same?
Life is like a long rollercoaster ride
So strap in and hold on tight
Life can end at the drop of a dime
So try to leave all your worries behind
We learn something new every day
Life goes on and people change

I drink less and I think more
About what my future has in store
Like, where will I be when I’m 35?
Will everyone I know still be alive?
Can’t imagine being married with kids
But if it happens then it is what it is
Gotta make the best of what comes my way
Gone tomorrow but we’re here today
Can’t love until you’ve had a loss
I’ve lost plenty and I’ve paid the cost
Picked myself up and I ain’t looking back
Life is too short to be stuck in the past

I don’t know but I’ve been told
That it’s a hard road getting low
We change a little bit every day
That’s okay cause people change

[chorus]

People change
And we rearrange
A little happiness and hope
Goes a long way
Hold on tight
Don’t let go
Gotta learn to just go with the flow

[chorus]

Had a Vision
on Wednesday, June 25, 2008, 9:46 PM

:: Growth = Change ::

"Be transformed by the renewing of your mind"
ROMANS 12:2

Change is hard for most people, but growth is impossible without change. Most people fight against change, especially when it affects them personally. As novelist Leo Tolstoy said, "Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself."

Change is inevitable. Everybody has to deal with it in their lives. On the other hand, growth is optional. You can choose to grow or to fight it. But know this: people unwilling to grow will never reach their potential.

Making the change from being an occasional learner to someone dedicated to personal growth is tough. It goes against the grain of the way most people live. Most people celebrate when they receive their diploma or degree and say to themselves, "Thank goodness that's over. I'm done with studying." But this kind of thinking doesn't take you any higher than average.


THIS WEEK: Reflect on who you are and face your flaws. You can reach your potential tomorrow if you dedicate yourself to growth today. Remember, to change your world, you must first change yourself. To do that:
1. See yourself clearly.
2. Admit your flaws honestly.
3. Discover your strengths joyfully.
4. Build on those strengths passionately.


This is taken directly from John C. Maxwell -
"Leadership
Promises For Your Week"
page 113

Had a Vision
on , 9:07 PM

:: walau... Happening! sianz... ::

This morning my mood was quite taken down by a call saying I'm going to Delta Wing (I wanted to go Signals pro term or at least expecting Foxtrot) and I have to report monday 8am. Suddenly a burst of feelings came and pull my head down as I sat there waiting for my new passport. I quickly called army recruitment center and ask if they have receive my application and if there was any chance I could go over but to my demise, nope.

They had to register people to go overseas and alot of preparation ad to be done so they couldn't put me in.. if only I apply earlier... but I think God just doesn't want me to sign on... They ask if I wanted infantry instead cos changing vocation does not apply for 3-yr contract, she ask if I wanted the 4-yr local study award or 6yrs contract but apparently the terms and condition just didn't have what I want...

3yrs - starts after commission (I now only allowed Infantry)
4yrs - starts after I graduate, local Uni all paid with allowance paid yearly (overseas also can but have to top up the balance myself)
6yrs - starts after I graduate, Local or overseas school fees fully paid

Then I went to Vivo and Queensway to find a shop that makes personalise soles but also to my demise, it was nowhere to be found... I couldn't believe it just wasn't my day so I started shopping! (oh my Gosh! me? shopping to unwind??)

ok enough talk, nobody really reads... more PICTURES!


Now, let's have a last look at that old passport photo...



Then look at the new one!



Wow! Grow up liao...


Went into this christian shop which I never knew it was there (in Queensway) and bought a christian CD, fast beat type for dancing de (I still love to dance...)




Then I continued to shop and found this really really cool shirt!



Succees! HUAH!


And this really really really cool jacket!

Had a Vision
on , 8:08 PM

:: Like fishing ::

Someone said wooing girl is like fishing... haha...

"sometimes u give more sometimes u tarek"

"must loon one"

who is tt some1?

here!

I know there's something wrong with the picture... but this was the person who's on my screen whom I made a video call to... Make a guess!!

Definitely not me, cos this is me!

Serious rite? Artistic also rite?

Had a Vision
on , 12:38 AM

:: For that few minutes... ::

What I doing sia today??

Nvm... I went back to school today and realise I never ate the yong tau hu before... First time I met so many health conscience people... First time I went into the classroom liddat... got the shoplifting machine de... class quite happening also.. my presence seems so unnecessary... oh well, maybe the time is just not right... I so admire that class, everyone blogs! Last time, my class everyone plays soccer except me... I feel so left out.. Up till now, I still haven't found my world...

Couldn't handle the high health, I went swensens for dinner n gave a treat.. too bad for those who didn't go...

This is Majestic Ocean and Rustic Ruby


Mango Madness


Some mint icecream I 4got the name...

Had a Vision
on , 12:05 AM

:: If change wasn't good ::

Then we'll still be in the stone age... or maybe even worst, the ice age!

If nobody cared to break the norm and discovered electricity, I wun even be blogging... maybe I will... but I'd have to spend a whole load of time to punch words on the tablet.

If we never grew up, if we never turned into an adult then nobody will be working or taking any responsibility, the world would have been in chaos!

If the caterpillar never metamorph into a butterfly, how will it ever get to see how beautiful the world is?

If life was a routine... why live, just DIE!!

If women was like men, then why did God created women?

and if men was like women, then why did God created men?

If everyone on earth was only allowed to love only 1 thing... wouldn't that be God? Then why did God give us a choice? Why didn't God made us robots?

Why did God made our eyes move freely when our head can already move freely? Why didn't He make us look at one thing at a time?

Why did God give us a heart?
Why do we have desires?
Why do we have feelings? Are feelings supposed to be a fix thing? Is it not allowed to change?

People change.
I admit I do change. I've changed alot, still changing and probably will never stop changing.

It is only because I'm not bounded by anyone... yet.

Had a Vision
on Monday, June 23, 2008, 8:47 PM

:: 500th Post! ::

Never expect my 500th post to be a sad 1...

I scolded a fren last night.
A fren whom I used to be close with.
A fren who cared for me.
A fren who was there for me in my times of hardship.
A fren who lifted my spirits when I was down.
A fren who blew away my monday blues.
A fren who called to ask how we were.

A fren who I chose to chase away...

A fren who deserves more...

Goodbye,
my fren.

Had a Vision
on , 8:34 PM

:: New books = Knowledge++ ::

4got to blog these 2 new books I bought on Monday..



I stopped reading "The Fine Art of Small Talk" halfway and started to carry around and read this pink gay-ish book (rather embarrassing) BUT my 'mian zi' shouldn't be my priority now so I had to switch as the contents were hitting on more impt current "issues" I'm facing recently... Wanna know what the contents are?

Here it is!

Contents
Mars and Venus on a Date
Finding the Right Person for You
Stage One: Attraction
Stage Two: Uncertainty
Stage Three: Exclusivity
Stage Four: Intimacy
Stage Five: Engagement
Making It Through the Five Stages
When the Clock Keeps Ticking and He's Not Wearing a Watch
Men Are Like Blowtorches, Women Are Like Ovens
The Dynamics of Male and Female Desire
Men Pursue and Women Flirt
Acknowledge Men and Adore Women
Men Advertise and Women Share
Why Men Don't Call
To Call or Not to Call
Men Love a Woman with a Smile
Women Love a Man with a Plan
Why Some Women Remain Single
Where to Find Your Soul Mate
101 Places to Meet Your Soul Mate
And They Lived Happily Ever After

That last chapter is what I'm attracted to... I really want to make it happen! I just need to fixed the second chapter which my life was currently stuck on...

I've read almost half and I realized there were simlilar truths about women and men compared to the book I read before "For Men Only: A guide to the inner lives of women"

So far, I'm baffled, stumped and shockingly amazed at how astonishingly different Men and Women are! As I read, flashback of events and experience I had dealt with women, stories of other couples relationship, common problems faced by couples I knew, reasons for many breakups I heard of, drama shows seems more understandable, and plans, dreams and vision of making my love story a perfect ending..

God is an awesome God!

Had a Vision
on Friday, June 20, 2008, 8:06 PM

:: Ah Hui's course chalet ::

^_^

I'm so glad I went to my mei's chalet, meeting new frens has never been so enjoyable! But kinda wierd that I'm making frens with people 5 years younger... I could totally feel the generation gap and something very funny was that I keep having flashback of my curious days of youth as I watched all the things they do that I used to do 5 years ago...

Some photo's of the sunrise!








After the sun rose, we went back to the chalet and guess what we found...

Had a Vision
on Tuesday, June 17, 2008, 7:53 PM

:: Dads' Day ::

Went to eat dim sum at yum cha!

It's at chinatown I think...

Had a Vision
on Sunday, June 15, 2008, 6:08 PM

:: they cried... ::

Wah... today 69/07 commissioned with 560 (biggest cohort in history) officers in the parade square of OCS. Thousands of people came to see their sons and daughters doing their marchpast, singing the National Anthem, then after the OCS song, they went down and help them put on their child's ranks...

This was when tears rolled down the eyes of these newly commissioned officers as flashback of all the ups and downs, sufferings and pains, joy and laughter for 9 months came through their mind all at once.

Afterwhich, they recite the Officers Creed for the first time as real officers, then finally, they jumped and threw their peak cap as high as they could, ignoring where it landed and just hugged whoever is standing beside them, jumping like mad, their joy was even heard by the Merlion of Singapore.

Whereas for me... I jumped too!!! Five and a half more months!!! Woo!!!

Had a Vision
on Saturday, June 14, 2008, 11:51 PM

:: I don't get these people who go club... ::

I just came back from MOS for the first time in my life, and probably the last, and realize I was right... there really isn't anything good there. I just had to experience it myself.

I gain a little knowledge on the architecture of the place, the location, the cost, the unbelievable reason why those guys go there. I also gained a little experience, at least I can say I've been there at least once. Wisdom, I'm still wondering why...

The lost was so much greater, I don't understand why people want to go there, to waste money, waste time, waste energy, and waste a life that would have been better doing oter things like jogging, swimming, gym, eating healthy cheap fruits, juice, reading a book, and getting enough sleep!

The noise level there is just incredibly stupid! It's so hard to talk.. You have to shout! Wouldn't it be better to sit down in a friendly, quiet and nice restaurant and have a good heart to heart talk?! Or if for the purpose of making new friends, why not join a group in a community club, do some useful activities that helps keep the body fit and healthy, living a longer, better, happier life!

If you like dancing, join a dance club! It's cheaper... more friendly, and more hyped!

Travel also hard sia... spent a stupid $25 on cab back...

Ok, I'm seriously never going back there again... what a sinful place... Forgive me God, I've sinned...

Had a Vision
on , 3:02 AM

:: Destiny dialogue ::

People's limitation are set, fixed and unchangable, only a fool waste his time trying to become he can never be.
A fool huh? Here we go again, who are you to judge what a person can or can't be.
Do you think anyone can be hokage, that all it takes is just a little hard work?
Open your eyes, of all the shinobi in all the world think how'd you'll ever become hokage.
They were born, destined to hokage, it's not something you become merely by trying to become. They were chosen by destiny.
Each person is given his own path to follow and he must follow it obediently, till the end.
There is only one destiny we all share equally... Death.

Had a Vision
on Friday, June 13, 2008, 12:49 AM

:: Time to Prioritize ::

Ever since I entered OCS, went through service term, OOC, became SSM runner till now. My priorities have been jumping around like little bunnies in open field.

Re-Org!

1) Relationship with God
2) Honour my parents
3)

Had a Vision
on Thursday, June 12, 2008, 10:59 PM

:: Getting more motivated! ::

Today was a full day rehearsal for 69/07 commissioning parade and I sat through the whole thing, this time I was observing what the parade commander, 2 IC, contigent commanders, colours and sword of honours was doing as I thought to myself that I might be one of them on 13 December 2008.

I've been recently psychoing myself to be the best, dropping the thought of going back tekong as PC just because it's near my house and I can be 'God' there... I just realise that that was such a lousy reason to hide in the background and hold back my potential to be something more... I don't even know if it's true that the worst really goes to tekong as PC for a matter of fact, it's just a hearsay...

Anyway, during the last part of the commissioning parade where the cadets march out singing the OCS song, I almost wanted to cry as they reach the parade square as I could hear all their hearts saying "It's finally over..."

Had a Vision
on , 9:43 PM

:: Bad Present ::

Today is a gift, that's why it's called present.

Sometimes I feel some gifts arn't always good ones... like today..

My alarm didn't wake me up so I got up late at 6 plus then I quickly msg the rest and ask how.. then they tell me to call boss say I diarrhoea which I hesitated cos I shouldn't lie.. and I'm not good at it.. but eventually I sms him to say I stomachache which I really really really felt a little tiny pain in my stomach... =X

He replied "OK."

phew... close call... BUT when I reached the bus stop outside the camp, it was raining super heavily! SHIT! Then I had to decide between getting a cab, risk wasting money or walking in the rain, risk my health...
The answer was obvious to me but instead, I prayed, and decided to wait for the rain to stop, risk getting scolded...

20 mins felt like 20 days at the bus stop as I wait, I prayed... In the end when the heavy rain simmer down to a drizzle, I decide to walk in. By the time I reached and changed it was 9.20am but heck, I just went down and helped out with the rehearsals. Boss seem to be either closing 1 eye or too busy with the rehearsal... Then at the end of it, he suddenly asked me how was my stomach! I stumped! And said I'm better liao... Feel so guilty for lying.. But.. Thank God, seriously.. Thank you God!

He then dismissed us early to do our own thing and do our PT.. I went for my FFI and passed it, ready for recourse but still hoping to go signals for pro term.. but HR told me the chances are few to none and I had to go infantry first, commission liao then go signal as officer-on-course. Made me think twice about signing on but I thought, I still want that CCNA cert and a better future, some work experience to help me get to Uni and anyway, If I really get the Sword of Honour, why not use my army talent on the nation!!

On my way home, my mei sms me to tell me that my poly results will need a week to print which means a later time of handing up my application as to sign on which shortens my chance to go signals pro term even more! Sad and moody on the train as I went home, I just wanted to.. GRRR... but I just kept quiet till I reach home...

On my way home, my torch tried to lure me out with reverse psychology to lit up my darkness... basket...

Had a Vision
on Wednesday, June 11, 2008, 6:40 PM

:: Selfish people ::

God, forgive my sins.. I know there's alot of selfish people in this world and I feel like giving them a good knock in the head but God, I pray you'll change me and make this world have one lesser selfish person around. Bless me with the gift of giving, loving and caring for others. Help me put others before me like how You put me before Yourself. Teach me to how to see through your eyes, how to see each unadorable person as precious diamonds. The human heart is as fragile as glass, guide my hands and words so not to break them. I need your help God, seriously praying in Jesus Christ Precious name, amen.

Had a Vision
on Tuesday, June 10, 2008, 11:21 PM

:: For Men Only DONE! ::

alright, finished the book!

I learnt about

Reassurance
Pursuing her never ends... even after marriage!

Emotions
Pop ups and several windows opening at the same time... lol

Security
They need emotional security and closeness so much that they'll endure financial insecurity to get it.

Listening
Filter the problem and concentrate on her feelings!

Sex
Interesting... I wun talk about this, wahahahaha!

Beauty
She knows, but still needs to hear it, that's why the effort! And we're only allowed to have eyes for her! (hard sia!)

Had a Vision
on , 10:24 PM

:: This should keep me motivated ::

Had a Vision
on Sunday, June 08, 2008, 10:33 PM

:: Casting Crowns - Who Am I ::

Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wondering heart.

Not because of who I am.
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord you catch me when I'm falling,
And you told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again
Who am I?
That the voice that calm the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.

Not because of who I am.
But because what of youve done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord you catch me when I'm falling,
And you told me who I am.
I am yours.

Not because of who I am.
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done.
But because of who you are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow.
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord you catch me when I'm falling,
You told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?
'Cuz I am yours.
I am yours.

Had a Vision
on , 7:46 PM

:: Cherish ::

Church talked about cherish today... I wish I knew better about this word...

Cos many times, we only learn this lesson after we've lost someone dear...

God, Please teach me how to cherish the ones I love... before it's too late...

Had a Vision
on , 5:13 PM

:: Honour and Passion ::

I just finish watching the whole drama series... thinking I would find something I can learn from... but nope!

Nice ending though.. I like the military wedding of WenJing and PeiPei, where they have to go through the archway of swords which symbolizes a safe passage into marriage life!

This has brought great motivation for me to commission as an officer, on top of that, as a SSM runner, the rehearsals for 69/07 batch is commssioning parade is taking place these 2 weeks and I've been watching non-stop and each time they reach the stage where they get ready to throw their peak caps, I could feel their phenomenal happiness rushing up their faces as I video them down... This became another factor for my motivation!

And finally, I've had a talk with the Sword of Honour (Infantry) of this batch who was also SSM runner before and he told me much of what I need to know to get the sword of honour which I am also aspired to get now! One of the very encouraging things he said was there are other Sword of Honour holders here from different vocations who were also SSM runner before... cos as SSM runner, we know some things cadets would never get to know...

God, I pray you'll bless me on this new journey I'm about to embark on. Bless me with your loving grace. I think I need alot... In Jesus Precious Name, amen.

Had a Vision
on , 3:58 PM

:: On My Mind ::

I'm one of those days where I have so many things on my mind I just dunno where to start...

My dad, my future, my career, my interest, my dreams, my prophesy, my friends, my sis, my mei's fren, my recourse, my feet, my life, my ministry, my cell, my church, my army friends, God's people, my God... my Jesus...

Everyone seems to have problems... Why do I have to make other people's problem my problem...

Cos sometimes, some problems can't be fix...
alone...

And why is love still so complicated...

Cos it can never be simplified...
alone...

Had a Vision
on Saturday, June 07, 2008, 12:04 AM

:: Todd Agnew - My Jesus ::

Which Jesus do you follow?
Which Jesus do you serve?
If Ephesians says to imitate Christ
Then why do you look so much like the world?

Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant
So which one do you want to be?

Blessed are the poor in spirit
Or do we pray to be blessed with the wealth of this land
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness
Or do we ache for another taste of this world of shifting sand

Cause my Jesus bled and died for my sins
He spent His time with thieves and sluts and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the rich
So which one do you want to be?

Who is this that you follow
This picture of the American dream
If Jesus was here would you walk right by on the other side or fall down and worship at His holy feet

Pretty blue eyes and curly brown hair and a clear complexion
Is how you see Him as He dies for Your sins
But the Word says He was battered and scarred
Or did you miss that part
Sometimes I doubt we'd recognize Him

Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and the least of these
He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable
So which one do you want to be?

Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud
I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud

I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!

Not a posterchild for American prosperity, but like my Jesus
You see I'm tired of living for success and popularity
I want to be like my Jesus but I'm not sure what that means to be like You Jesus
Cause You said to live like You, love like You but then You died for me
Can I be like You Jesus?
I want to be like you Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!

Had a Vision
on Thursday, June 05, 2008, 11:33 PM

:: How much did I run? ::

Finally! I went for my run!! Endorphins rushing through my body like mad!

-1PP = 2PP
YAY!!

I wonder how much I ran... from my house to the left bridge pass the bbq pits on the right to the end of the far right then all the way back to my house...

Hmm... Judging from the pasir ris park map, I think I ran only 7-8km...
Haiz... maybe lesser...

I can do better than this!

3 more weeks to recourse! I'm filling up my application as a signal officer NOW!
Hopefully I can get in... Please God... In Jesus name I pray, amen.

Had a Vision
on , 8:33 PM

:: Can't find the "Grow Up" book ::

Sian! I kanna another PP for not going gym today again... 3 liao how..

I did went to Kinokuniya though but couldn't find the book I need.. instead I found these!!





I hope they help...

Had a Vision
on Wednesday, June 04, 2008, 9:23 PM

:: I need a better plan! ::

Apparently procastination is still getting the better of me...

Today I was thinking whether to go do PT or not cos I got 'alot of places to go'. In the end I didn't do and went to Queensway cos my fren say 3rd floor got shops that makes custom designs on clothes which made me wonder why I never went up to 3rd floor before everytime I went there... I took a stroll around and got some info!



Now I just NEED to tweak my 'wildgirl' design abit and I should be able to submit for printing!!

After that, I went to Funan cos I read on the Straits Times under DL that there's some lucky draw there and so will Ninja Gaiden be there so I dropped by to see how the game was like and how the Ninja looked like... but I was rather disappointed at how disgustingly bloddy and gory the game was and how funny the real life Ninja looked... There seem to be alot of adult there surprisingly... In the end I didn't get anything there, what a waste of time!

WAIT! I did get something... I bump into this lady who told me more about the Citibank Visa Clear Card that I didn't know I can apply liao!! I'm above 21 years old! >.<

So left Kinokuniya which I came up with the excuse of saying there's only 1 ride left in my mrt concession and I don't wanna waste money and anyway I don't think I'll read tmr, even If I did, I still can read other books first, no rush! ~ long excuse...

NOT ACCEPTED!!!

So NOW! The better plan is by giving myself a point system... This is so I can really push myself to rid off this bad habit and become a better person! So basically, everytime I procastinate I'll give myself ProPoints, short for Procastination Points.

I still dunno what limit to set yet but I know that in order for me to remove these points, I MUST do something I don't like yet beneficial i.e Exercise, Reading the bible/a book or give someone a treat... This will take effect from today and I've earned 2 points!

1 ProPoint from giving excuse to skip PT
1 ProPoint from not accomplishing Mission: Get-Book

Guys, don't be surprise when I say I treating now... It just means I've been a bad boy...

Had a Vision
on Tuesday, June 03, 2008, 8:34 PM

:: How to fix? ::

Ok, I've spotted my problem, I've understand how it is developed and how it will never disappear unless my parents stop treating me like a little boy and let me grow up...

Meanwhile, I'll find another way to grow up... I found this book online called "Grow Up"... Tmr I MUST go Kinokuniya after work to find it! I MUST grow up!

I also gotta make a new schedule for myself, a to do list, and rewrite my goals, gotta write down my fears as well.. not to mention the reasons why I should do whatever I'm doing... I MUST lead a purposeful life... a life without regret!

I've finished the book I just bought not long ago... I should reward myself with something... I didn't procastinate this time...

I MUST become a better person NOW!

Had a Vision
on Monday, June 02, 2008, 11:05 PM

:: Childishness ::

I see the problem now...

I know why I'm behaving so wierd lately...

The way I talk, I behave, the questions I ask, the things I do and even the clothes I wear...

Everything had something to do with my past and also how my parents treated me...

All the wierd things I've been doing lately because I have..

Peter Pan Syndrome!

I need to do research on this and fix this quick...

Had a Vision
on , 7:16 PM

:: Geylang! ::

Dad brought us out to Geylang for dinner!
Look at how much I ate! =X



I like the wet towel so much I didn't use it but instead I brought it home and kept it in the fridge... for future use... for opportunity... for others... to be...



Before coming home, dad brought us around the red light district for a tour...
First time I saw women standing in such a long row like as if they were costumes for rent!
What are they thinking!!! They're even snatching the people who walk pass like savage beasts!

I wonder how Jesus could stand the temptation, at the same time save them... Haiz...

Had a Vision
on Sunday, June 01, 2008, 9:58 PM

:: I am just a dream ::

I am just a dream
Very easily forgotten
I'll live for only a moment

I am just a dream
Wonder what I'll bring
I'll go without warning

I am just a dream
Never ever the same
I'll never come again

I am just a dream
I am just a dream

Had a Vision
on , 4:46 PM

:: Birthdays are IMPORTANT!!! ::

When I was 19, I organised a birthday party for myself, I planned everything, everything. I realise the only moment I felt happy during the whole night was when everyone sang the birthday song for me... that last forever in my memory..

The gifts didn't really mattered... What is seen does not last forever..

I organized it because I wanted a perfect 21st birthday party... but I was sick on my 21st birthday instead... Spending the day alone, I realise... NOBODY cares... it was a terrible terrible terrible feeling...

But this feeling will never emerge again...
Neither will I let the people I care about feel it too...

Had a Vision
on , 3:58 PM