Fai†hfully Preparing my Fields for the Rain

:: 600th Post - Worried ::

I'm getting a little worried of my future. I'm worried for the family. I'm 23, my dad is 58, the only sole bread winner of the family of 5. Mei still studying and definitely can't work anytime soon. The government said 55 was the retirement age so my dad is 3 years overdue...

I also feel that he should retire le... but if he retire or worst case it anything were to happen, who will take care of the family expenses, house and car loans when there have been no savings from my parents? My mom? she's 50, no skills, no education, attitude problem, will she be able to support? Unlikely...

My older sis? She's 27 so by right she's suppose to be married and have at least a stable income to help support the family but God had other plans. She had an accident when she was very young that resulted in some brain damage that made her capacity to learn very little. She scored all zeros for her primary school and went to katong special school. She didn't fit in either cos of her attitude, she got easily angered. Always quarreling with the family except me. I asked for Jesus's eyes... God wants me to learn something I'm just not sure what it is yet...

So who's next in line? ME!!! The only son! but beside the point, I'm the only one left to be the next sole bread winner! I MUST do something about it! They tell me not to stress about my life but HOW?!! In 2 years time, he's gonna be 60, I'll be 25, when he's 65, I'll be 30! And at 30 if I have a job that pays 2k-3k will it be enough for a family of 5 still with loans and having parents that DON'T save money! How will we survive?! Reality will hit me in the face and tell me that even dying is not a choice! Then How?

That's why I MUST prevent this from happening NOW!! I MUST achieve my goal of a million by 30! I will eventually become the sole bread winner, compressing whatever experience he has into this short time is not possible but learning how to be successful from successful people is! I MUST gain enough to cover the family, my own future family, give my parents a proper retirement that they deserve, pay up the house loan and still enough to buy a house and car for my family, prepare for my future children's education without worrying if they want to go overseas to study or any private school they are interested in... ALL THIS requires money... I don't love money and definitely don't want to serve it but what money can do in this time, this generation, on earth matters alot.

There are people dying from hunger everyday as we speak. Fortunately, we HAVE the ability to help them.. US, the people of GOD, are not here to hate money and shun away from it just becos it's hard to go heaven. It's how we use the money thats important. It's ok to work hard and earn alot of money, it's ok to be wealthy. It's hard to give away money when you're rich cos of the lifestyle that needs to be given up. So if we can just avoid the thought of having a good lifestyle and just live a normal life, we're ok! We still can earn alot but instead of splurging on ourselves, we splurge on those who really needs it. This is where many would say "For What! I work so hard so those lazy poor assholes get to live! They deserve to die since they're so lazy!" This is why it's easier for a camel to through a needle...

Do you think God wants evil people to become rich? Or good people... I'm really wondering why the good people can be happy with just a normal life. God wants US to be rich! Because He knows we will spend the money wisely and not on branded clothes, branded cars, thousands of shoes or other insignificant 'wants' in our life... He knows... but honestly speaking, how many can escape the temptation when they're rich... Not many but then again did many foresee this problem before they become rich... unlikely... unfortunately this is how the world is, sadly to say...

God, I praise for being such a wonderful God that made this world so perfect even though it seems so sucky to us. Even though my life seems like it's gonna become bad but I believe You will make it become better. I thank you for all the things I've been through, the blood, sweat and tears. I believe that all the setbacks, rejections and pain I've been through will eventually make me a better man, a stronger person and most importantly, more like You, Jesus. I pray you will bless me with the wisdom to know what's good and what's bad. I also pray that you continue to mould me, chisel away all that is impure and displeasing in Your eye. Lastly I pray that You will continue to reassure me of this path I'm taking... In Jesus Christ name I pray, amen.

Had a Vision
on Sunday, October 25, 2009, 10:48 PM