Fai†hfully Preparing my Fields for the Rain

:: How God Changed My Life. ::

I never realized this until my mei took out the old photo album and said "How come you never smile in your pictures?"

Cos I was never a happy kid... I didn't know anything about the world, I didn't know anything about money or love for the matter of fact. I didn't know my parents were rich to the point my dad had 2 Mercedes Benz parked in the carpark and got it changed a few times. I didn't know I was a known as a spoiled kid, I had everything I wanted, every toy I got my eye on, I got it the next minute just by staring at it long enough, literally. I had so much toys, they piled up into mountains that I could no longer see the carpet floor in my room. I didn't know what I really wanted... I just kept asking for more...

Until my younger sis was born, she too was treated like a precious jewel, dad carried me less and lesser as the years go by, I didn't know I was getting heavier, I thought they didn't liked me anymore, so I became even unhappier, I quarreled with my parents alot, cried even more and detested my younger sis. Often I made her cry.

But she was still a happy kid, always putting on a smile... When I was in school I didn't score well for my grades cos all I thought about were my toys which later on I was introduced to video games. I didn't know my parents spent alot on tuition for me, I didn't like it, I just liked the sweets that the tuition teachers gave. I continued to score badly for my grades, I didn't know the importance of going to school, I didn't know I was in the best neighborhood primary school. I didn't really had the choice of going to school except the times I didn't feel like going to school cos I don't want to get caned for not doing my homework and mom had to get MCs for me.. sometimes even do my homework for me.. Like I said, I didn't know I was spoiled...

In school, I didn't know what I was doing, I didn't join any ECA, I was bullied all the time, I was smaller than the other kids and started wearing nerdy glass since primary 3, the girls made fun of me and called me "froggy", the guys treated me like punching bags... all the way into secondary school...

My dad owns a durian farm in Malaysia, we often had to go to the dreaded place full of mosquitoes... Like I said, I didn't know how rich my dad was, so much that he owns a land, but I didn't care, I just didn't like all the dirt, mosquitoes and the hot sun. His business was definitely not my business...

I'm a little bigger here cos I started to change in secondary school, I started to realize that girls are pretty! Then all the bgr curiosity started. I realise the girls like the guys with center parting, so I started to grow a little hair and threw a lump of gel on it only to be laughed at the first day I did it, later I also realized that the guys who had bigger muscles also got attention from the girls so I started going gym since sec 2. I got bigger, with longer hair and finally I got a little more attention from the girls but not the one I liked. I realized I like the "ah lian" type... probably cos an "ah lian" type stood up for me in class during primary school after the guys made me cry. So the first gal I asked to be a boyfriend was an "ah lian" who just broke up. She rejected me right on the spot. I cried like a baby.

In my secondary school, I also chanced upon friends who were Christians, I didn't like them cos there were a few very cocky, noisy, talk big, and one hell of a proud assholes. They brought me to a church, I didn't know such a thing called double standard... I thought they were weird people... I told myself I never want to go to a church ever again. Those hypocrites!

Then I turned bad... I went to get my ear pierced, joined a little gang and carried those sharp combs that weren't allowed in school. Got into a few fights every now and then. I was an angry and confused teenager.

My life started to turn around when I was introduced to a little social gathering called cell group. I went once and met this fat guy, he was one really persistent fat guy who kept asking me to come for more cell groups. I didn't want to cos they were playing icebreaker games that got really violent at times... but I still went... cos there was this really cute girl there and I wanted to see her.

Soon enough, I learnt more and more about this God/man called Jesus which really got me more and more interested to find out more... then suddenly one day, someone said something I wasn't sure and poof! I became a Christian! Everyone started hugging me! I was scammed into saying the sinners prayer!

Then I started going church, my parents of cos didn't approved and banned me from going church but I still secretly went cos I wanted to know more about this Jesus guy who made the world agree that is it year 2000, that something really happened 2000 years ago in history that completely rocked the world's believes. The more I became a real Christian, the more amazing my life became.

My grades got much better, I got the Good Progress Award when I was secondary 4. I asked my cell group friend who is a very faithful Christian that I respect alot what I should do with the $150 bucks? He told me to give it back to God, which I reluctantly did. Then the next amazing miracle happened in secondary 5, I was 2nd in my whole cohort and got $500 for getting scholarship! On top of that, I was actually elected to be class chairman that year so it wasn't an easy feat... I didn't expect myself to even make it to any polytechnic but I did!

My life turned around even more in Polytechnic, I asked God for courage and adopted the name Andrew which means courage. I immediately volunteered to become the class rep on the first day and made many friends, joined many CCAs, learnt to play the guitar and met my first love. Life was really good, I was very active in church as well, joined the dance team and participated in many events and most importantly I became confident of myself. God's glory was shining through me.

Throughout my 8 years as a Christian, I never regretted knowing this amazing God. I had my tough times but He brought me through them all. I became more thoughtful and understanding, more patient and caring, more gentle and self controlled, more focused on my life, I was clearer to what I wanted, how to get there and why on earth I was born in the first place... I had more friends than I ever had... very amazing friends..

I became much more aware of myself, and became more confident by the day...

And most importantly, I am smiling together with my family now. =)

Had a Vision
on Sunday, April 24, 2011, 9:58 PM