Just finished this book. Very interesting concept of love, even though the whole book basically shares examples of how the concept was applied and worked.
Here's a recap of what I learnt.
Basically, everyone of us has a love tank that our parents used to fill us up with since young then as we grow older, our love language may or may not change or maybe our parents stopped showing us love in our language, that is when our love tank become empty and that is when we will go out to find other ways to fill up our love tank.
Unknowingly along the way, someone does a little something that actually fills up our love tank, that is when we 'fall in love'. When our tank is full, we feel like we can conquer the world once again!
So here's the 5 basic love languages:
Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
People with the love language of Words of Affirmation are those who needs to be encouraged, appreciated with words, sweet nothings of love and compliments.
People who needs Quality Time are those who wants to talk face to face about life, work or basically anything will do, maybe not talking and just a simple stroll in the park together or it could be activities spent together like a sport.
Receiving Gifts is quite self explanatory, these people aren't really materialistic, the gifts might not be expensive, it can be self made, or even a little pebble found on the beach that is shaped like heart, there's also the gift of self, being there when he/she needs you the most.
Acts of Service means things like making the bed, doing the laundry, getting dinner done, looking after the kids, it may not be permanent, when these little acts are done out of the blue may actually clear away some Monday blues.
Physical Touch is usually mistaken as sexual intercourse but that's a completely different subject. Here, it is actually the stuff like a back rub, little brushing of arms when walking together, running your finger up each others hand or a little under table touching.
For me, this book has made me realized something important about me. I didn't require quality time cos I prefer to be alone, just blogging is fine. I hate receiving gifts, especially the ones I have no use for, I understand it's the thought that counts but thats just not my love language, I feel I that I'm the best person who knows what I really want, so just let me give myself gifts. I don't really need acts of service as I have grown very independent like how I blogged about before. Then there is physical touch, that is the one thing I always hope for every time I'm out with people and the thing that I never got at home nor can I give that to myself... Words of affirmation is probably my second, as I've grown to take criticism as a tool for growth and I always find quotes to encourage myself but I guess it's really different when you finally hear it from someone else.
Anyway, here's a few quotes I took note of from the book that are rather meaningful.
"The best thing we can do with failures of the past is to let them be history."
"We cannot erase the past, but we can accept it as history."
"Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offense up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love."
"Gifts need not be expensive, nor must they be given weekly. But for some individuals, their worth has nothing to do with monetary value and everything to do with love."
"People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need."
"As creatures of choice, we have the capacity to make poor choices but poor choices in the past don't mean we must make them in the future. Make the choice to love now."
"Love doesn't erase the past, but it makes the future different."
"I want to believe that I am significant, but I may not feel significant until someone expresses love to me."
"Without love, I may spend a lifetime in search of significance, self-worth, and security."
"Love is not the answer to everything, but it creates a climate of security in which we can seek answers to those things that bother us."
"Since love is such a deep emotional need, the lack of it is perhaps our deepest emotional pain."