Fai†hfully Preparing my Fields for the Rain

:: Immigrant Dream ::

I had another bad dream... I dreamt that I was going home from dunno where, probably batam. Then the counter stopped me and said I was holding a fake passport and they wouldn't let me through. The counter lady gave a disgusted look and called me "Another batam immigrant" and told me to take your ticket and go back to where you came from I was insulted and thought maybe the machine spiolt and confuse as to how am I to go back if I don't have a ticket to board the ferry. Then I'd be stuck in between.

So I just went to another counter and the same thing happened. But this time my family were with me and they tried to help me talk. Then something wierd happened. There was thing blutac thingy. The counter lady, a different one, took a funny looking cane stick and whack the blutac thing which belonged to each person's identity of some sort and popped out a pill. Like the cold medicine shape and white color. Somehow I knew that it belonged to my mom and they were like transfering it to me. Then I ask my mom how? They say nvm, don't worry. It's because ur identity have expired, your mom will help you to renew yours.

I stunned as I continue to watch how she makes the transferring cos she was moulding the blutac thing into many shapes and color, green the orange and into a honeycomb. The melding process somehow had some problem and the pill just didn't get mixed in so she called for help... I was still in a state of confusion and I woke up suddenly going... what the **** was that all about?

Had a Vision
on Saturday, August 20, 2011, 11:12 AM

:: Many Room Dream/Nightmare ::

This wasn't really a dream in the end, it became a nightmare! I was trying to go home in this dream, and through a door which led to a room, it was a simple room. I went to sleep in the room and woke up then I went to open the other door on the other side of the room and end up in another room, it was a big room, bigger than my whole house combined. There were 2 idiots dressed in ninja black telling me to keep quiet, they wanna steal stuff. So I went back to the door where I came from but when I opened it, I ended up in someone else's room. There was this old wizard looking man who was combing his beard or something so I closed the door feeling confused. I was still in the big room with the 2 idiots and went ahead to the other side of the room to the other door which brought me to another similar simple room where I lied down to sleep but couldn't take the smell of the bed, it belonged to some army boy's smell, very smelly. So I went back to the door and realized it was still the same big room, the 2 idiots still snooping ard but didn't talk to me, so i went ahead and hope to get back to my simple room to sleep but this time it was locked.

Then suddenly, the 2 idiots went to hide cos somehow they knew the owner was coming home. The owners, 2 giant malay dudes 3 times my size and slightly taller than me came into their home and greeted me like they know me or they're just being friendly then they realize something is wrong and started scanning the place with some weird device that produce fire on one end but did not burn anything. With that, they found a notebook that belonged to one of the idiots, they become furious and I don't know why I started running ...

Through the many doors and rooms until I found a room where I saw my gf, she was dead, she had a big hole in the middle of her chest like she was stabbed by a pipe. The blood was dry, it wasn't bloody, her skin was healthy, her eyes was opened, but she was motionless and silent. I panicked run to her grab her and try to convinced myself she is alive then I realized I was in a room filled with her, like clones, and all dead... Then I heard some weird music and was awoken in cold sweat by the awful song ka music downstairs...

Had a Vision
on Wednesday, August 17, 2011, 10:01 AM

:: Happy Day! ::

Today my gf made me pasta... yummy!

Had a Vision
on Monday, August 15, 2011, 2:15 AM

:: How to Avoid Getting Nightmares ::

Many nightmares are caused by a traumatic event such as the loss of a loved one, a physical illness, stress or even prescription medication. Follow these tips to sweet dreams.

Avoid Getting Nightmares

Instructions

- 1
  Relax before bedtime. Meditate, take a hot bath, drink herbal tea or do mild stretching exercises.
- 2
  Clear your mind of worries. Make a list of problems and possible solutions, and then look at them the next day.
- 3
  Avoid watching the evening news, horror movies or movies with graphic violence right before bed.
- 4
  Eat a light snack such as milk or yogurt. Both contain calcium and tryptophan, which can have a relaxing effect.
- 5
  Avoid fatty and spicy foods, which could cause gas and, in turn, nightmares.
- 6
  Give up smoking. Nicotine has been linked to certain sleep disorders.
- 7
  Stop using any drugs that are not essential to your health and well-being.
- 8
  Write down your nightmare when you wake up in a dream journal. Try to figure out how it relates to your life at present to prevent it from recurring.

Had a Vision
on Saturday, August 13, 2011, 12:26 PM

:: Ready to climb mountain dream ::

Had a dream that I was in army and was selected for having the best endurance or tolerance level in the company and was given a special challenge to climb a 30km high mountain. I started making preparation for the climb, wore an extra sweater in my t-shirt. Calculated the rough distance and mentally psyche myself up for the climb. Then just when I was about start the climb I realized I made an error in my calculation, I actually had to walk a total of 60km oppose to the 30km because I had to climb back down which made me feel unprepared. Then I woke up.

My Interpretations
It seems that I am about to encounter a great challenge which I may have underestimated the difficulty. On the bright side, I have finally reach the mountain after a long journey.

Had a Vision
on Monday, August 08, 2011, 11:20 AM

:: Got no money, no money ::

Siao liao... my bank left only 54 bucks for now till 20th... how on earth did this happen??!!

Other than that, I'm already halfway to my end of year goal! =D

Had a Vision
on Saturday, August 06, 2011, 12:29 AM

:: Praying for you ::

Dear Heavenly Father,

I come forth you with great sadness, faith and hope. I believe you already know why. So I pray you would heal her this very hour on earth. In Jesus Christ name I pray, amen.

Had a Vision
on Monday, August 01, 2011, 10:53 AM

:: Are You Ready For Love? ::

A good relationship isn't a game you play or an ego trip you take. It is about love and two people. Loving someone can give us the greatest joy we can ever know and it can hurt more than we can believe too. When it does not really hurt when that person did something disappointing to you, but really hurts when you see that person in pain and sadness, then you know you truly love that person.   

Loving someone means you should be ready to experience heartache and happiness at the same time. That's the reward and that's the risk. Unless we are willing to experience it, we will never really know what it's like to love and be loved.   

Sharing love is probably the most valuable and meaningful experience a person can ever have. And there's a difference between being in love with someone and loving someone. It's the difference between a love that's fickle, wild and short-lived and one that's tender and passionate, nurturing and lasts a long time. The first is easy. The second, the one that really matters to all of us, takes work -- because it's about keeping a relationship.   

Loving someone takes efforts. We have to be able to communicate with each other. Nobody can read anyone else's mind. We always presume that our partner knows what we think and feel. Maybe in time we might be able to predict or sense each other's thoughts but it's never perfect and takes time to develop.   

Getting the chance to love and be loved by someone is blessed. Respect him/her for who he/she is, and not what you want him/her to be. Everyone is pretty and special in his/her own special way. No one is perfect. It is true love, which closes the gap of imperfectness to form a smooth surface of acceptance for each other. True love sees and accepts a person for who he/she is. It is also true love, which makes a person change for the better.   

The power of true love to a person is undeniable.   

A relationship needs commitments too. What is love without commitments from each other anyway? It's like principles and values. Everyone has them but they only mean as much as we are willing to stand for them.   

The same goes for our commitments to relationships, and the person we love.   

"Love is like an antique vase. It's hard to find, hard to get, but easy to break."   

Every day everywhere, people fall in love ... but just how many of these relationships are self-sacrificing love, and not just relationships which are formed only for the intense feeling of falling in love? I know hundreds of friends who say the magical words "I love you"... but more often than not, the truth is just -- I am IN love with you. There is a difference between being in love with someone and loving someone. If a person says he/she is in love with you, he/she means that he/she likes you for who you are now and he/she fell in love with you because of the present you.  

This kind of love is temporary and lasts only as long as the fairytale lasts. When fairy godmother comes in at midnight to whirl us back to reality, we see the heartache of such a relationship... where both were only IN love with each other.   

But if a person says he/she loves you, he/she means that he/she loves you unconditionally for who you are now, who you were in the past and who you might be in the future. When he/she says he/she loves you and really means it, you have to ask yourself if you love him/her too or if you're in love with the idea of being in love. It is very hard to see the difference through logical thinking. Let your heart guide you. May you be blessed on your soul-searching journey for your soulmate.

And today I'm proud to say I love Ann Choo, and despite her past I still love her and finally, this weekend after having much thoughts of the worst and realize I will love her no matter what happens in the future...

Had a Vision
on , 12:53 AM