Fai†hfully Preparing my Fields for the Rain

:: Sabbath Day ::

Haha! what a great way to start a day, i woke up early at 6am, unexpectedly cos i slept at 3am last night. Then after bathing, n ready to go, i set off to tampines to take the shuttle bus that comes at 9am, but to my surprise when i reached there, my time says 7.56am!!! that was when i realise i was way too early to be there so i decided to take bus 10 instead... it's been so long since i went to church so early, it was ever since i changed cell groups...

service is good! as usual but somehow or rather different... i dunno why... then when pastor was preaching, i fell asleep near the end of the talk, which i was quickly awoken by the holy spirits nudge... i tried to stay awake by talking with song de... i wrote on a paper if he knew that only 1 out of 10000 people could roll their tongue, then i showed him mine. He kinda got surprise n told me something bout genes and that i must be the type that inherits both of my parents good genes... i felt comforted n also thought for awhile... yeah... my mom is good in art n my dad is good in technical drawing, n i am good in both!~WOW!!

after service, i still had dance... amazingly i didn't feel tired what-so-ever, it's like my strength is being replenish every sec of every minute... i was like hyperactive but a little out of control mode, jumping around non-stop like as if i'm energizer or something... dance is simply so fun!

after dance, i finally got the chance to watch Final Fantasy Advent Children on jonnie's laptop, it was EXCELLENT! the movie links very much to the game and the graphics, WOW! the fighting is like, IMPOSSIBLE!! they can actually ride bikes at very high speed jump midair do some swordplay and still land back on their bike! i wanted to bring home to watch a gain but the file size is super big lor... 700+Mb!! wa lao! oh well.. then pastor also got a table tennis table n he put it in church to play, i watch them play for awhile, it was like super funny when wenyan, sui feng and chek meng do something together, their like clown sei... then i left with a group of people which somehow should not be as i felt i was not part of that group...

I was thinking of somethings... feeling tired so i didn't say anything... just strange, when i am serving, i feel like i have an endless supply of energy, and when everything is over, i feel like ice melting... like a big pile of fatigue all compressed and realease one shot on me... i walked home alone to the bus stop at the library, i looked up the sky and sighed asking God, "What have i done today? Did i do something fruitful that is line with your will? Am I getting anywhere closer to the person you want me to be? Did i live this day with no regrets?" then i went back to thinking why i was not together with the group just now... was it because i looked like i had something on my mind i had to get off or was it because i have burdens to carry, responsibility to take, pain to endure, tears to hold back? Sometimes when there is a squall, a storm, or just thunder, how i wished for death from this cruel, heartless world, full of lies, lust, greed, hatred, jealousy, n grief... just by ending my life just like tt, with a lightning bolt... Why is Singapore so safe you dun even see life robbery, then how i wish i can run into the situation and gamble if i die quickly or become a hero... but then again, it would be such a waste if i die so early... there's so much i haven't do, so much i haven't said, games i haven't completed, goals i have not achieved, songs i haven't sung, friends i have not helped, family i have not repaid, n love i have not give...

so i guess i'll just have to continue living!! unwillingly... Oh father in heaven how i wish to know when i can finally go back into your arms again... when i can finally get out of this dreaded world, when will i ever finish what i am here for... Lord, i pray that you would make it easier for me to see your will, may your will be done, in Jesus Holy name i pray, amen.

Had a Vision
on Sunday, November 27, 2005, 6:59 PM