Fai†hfully Preparing my Fields for the Rain

:: Cannot don't blog la.. ::

Cannot la, I tried... but cannot... my tots tend to accumulate den i'll get lost! Drown in my sea of tots!

Recently I've been thinking hard... really really hard on my future... I see rich people, I see poor people... Once I wasn't affected by how rich or poor I'm going to be but the fact is, Nobody wants to be with poor people cos social norm has put them under the category of "Useless" but then again it's still up to the individual themselves.. some people like to be with poor people cos they seem to be more honest.

Yes, we are talking bout money here... more money = more friends. But are they really friends? or are they assets? Poor friends on the other hand can become "too honest", they get too close u'll never find space... O.O wait a minute.. y am i looking at the negative side?! STOP!

k, i've come to blog about a problem I come about, which is my future. Will I have a good life or not. This also affects the people around me, my mei who's going Uni but doesn't know if there's money for her to go... my sis who is, honestly speaking, an extra stomach. My dad is 58 this year and this is a dangerous age to continue as the bread winner... my mum is 50 this year and she specialises in the job of a good mom.

I'm currently an OOC because I believe God wants me to sit down n seriously think about my future as the choices I make now will affect my future greatly.

My initial plan was to get on with NS and learn dance, get a diploma in dance and become a dance instuctor as my career and maybe when I've earn enough, i'll go into properties and become a developer if possible.

Now, after attending a few lessons in studio Wu, I realise dancing is not easy. I may not really excel in it. They say do what interest u n u'll excel naturally... My plan had a problem, I cannot reach the second part if I don't become a Professional dance instructor..

I went to learn with Kay, it's better to go with someone.. He told me bout his progress and plans for the future.. currently, he signed on as a signal specialist, learning bout networking, routers and stuffs.. and says he'll get a rather recognised cert from CISCO, says it will be useful in the future as there are many companies like singtel, starhub and many more that requires talents like these... SO I tot hey.. since I might not make it to a professional dance instrutor, I'll need a plan B, that is to have an alternate job and getting the cert seems to be something of value to add to me now since I'm serving NS. Then I'll be a network guy in the day and a dancer at night, I tot maybe double income might bring me there... So, why not sign on! maybe can learn more, at the same time earn some money, add capital for myself in case I wanna do something else like study or start a business!

This was what tt's not suppose to happen, I said with much confidence, "I will not sign on!"
Now..?
I'm actually considering a 3yr contract as a Signal Officer... Cos of the knowledge, cos of the cert, cos of the benefits, cos of the capital (a fat 64k not including bonuses if I save up till ORD).. with the knowledge I can serve the church better in a few ways like sound system, they need people... with the recognised CISCO cert I secure a stable future, with the benefits like paying 10% down payment for first HDB instead of 20% with which I can secure a home earlier if I wanna settle down earlier, with the capital I can have enough to pay for my mei's studies, my diploma in dance and have much more for the excuse me, 'extra stomach' and still can give my parents some so they dun have to work so hard, so I can splurge on whatever I wan these few years, on my friends or maybe even on a girlfriend if I have one! I can provide security! I can have the option to choose!

I told my mei and it seems like signing on seems to be flawless like there's no disadvantage... other den giving the government an extra year. But I calculated the amount I could earn outside in a year cannot be compared to what I'll get if I served an extra year inside. Now this was a mistake... later i'll explain..

I told my dad, he immediately disagree.. assure us that our studies was secured as the land he shared and bought and built houses with his business partner is currently selling and the money is coming in. He also told me that a relative has a easy job for me that can earn alot! as in ALOT! He said at least 10k per mth... and is really easy... but a part of me just don't believe him... I argued my points about the cert, the knowledge, my future, and I wanted to earn my own money. In the end, he was ok with me signing on when I said 1 extra yr only... said let me go have some experience..

I talked to a signal specialist whose been in the army for quite some time and he told me alot of things.. about the things I'll learn n might not learn, the things I might or might not go thru as he's not completely sure of what an officer does but he say if I wanted to sign on, sign on long term as the difference in pay between a spec n an officer doesn't differ much until I become a captain rank, earning 3-4k.. den he say a full colonel can reach 10k per month. He said alot of other stuff about getting scholars can get faster promotion and what 1st class can come out of army and straight away be a deputy manager which I didn't really listen cos I doubt I can get it as I hate studying... He also said don't sign on just for the money, cos I can earn more outside which is true as he explained to me about the outside increment is higher. Don't sign on for the knowledge cos I won't learn much in there as I could learn even more outside which is true as I'll being doing regimental things like manning the comms. He also noted about what stress I will face like answering to the CO (3-4 ranks higher) directly for anything wrong that happens cos there arn't many signals officer around unlike infantry where a company has 4! Can share the burden.. He also said that signals has alot of competitive Captain around whose going for the better positions.. so he say sign on infantry better..

Now I'm really confused la... To anyone who actually read thru the whole post pls help me analyse where the problem is and I really woundn't mind some advise now... I need as much as possible now... Advice, feedback or whatever.. only left about 7 more weeks to make my decision.. A very big decision that will affect a very big portion of my life.. not including afterlife..

Meanwhile, I'll continue going for dance lessons and see if I got chance to become a Professional dance instructor, observing how they teach and how fast I learn. Also I'll need to know more about this easy yet high pay job from my relative personally. Finally, I'll need to call and talk to Sherman, Huishan's fren, a 3 yrs contract Signal Officer about to ORD to know exactly what I might be going through if I were to do the same...

Thx to everyone who gave me advice and supported my decisions especially HuiShan.. I wanna thank you personally for being such a good listening, supportive and not to mention, caring fren but I just can't think of the best way to say it yet...

Had a Vision
on Saturday, May 03, 2008, 2:50 PM