:: Another Bad Habit ::
After 3 days of playing stupid, seriously stupid games on facebook... I've realised a really bad habit that I have... well, not really that bad but still...
When I was young and had alot of homework, I play my sega n 4get about the time, 4get about the homework, 4get about the heavy workload...
As I grew older, I had Playstation, the workload didn't change but this time, 'girl' suddenly appeared out of nowhere... so I played even more to 4get the time, 4get the work, 4get the girls..
Then I grew even older, more mature, I got some money and a computer! Workload was even heavier, responsibility even more, girls are starting to flood the world! or at least my world..
So now I played maplestory almost 24/7 followed by Pool, followed by DotA then back to Maplestory again! Just so I could... 4get...
Finally, I'm an adult, I realised how much time I've wasted on playing and playing and playing all these stupid programmes man-made by man that just transfer data from nowhere to nowhere... I decided to stop!
I came into the army...
Workload was so heavy they had to shave off my hair cos it's adding weight...
Responsibility felt like walking under a neverending waterfall...
Women suddenly vanished! The world suddenly turned so dark I couldn't even see my hands.
This time, I turned to facebook?!?!?!
When things seems to be looking bad, I run, I freeze... I never fought back... until the last minute where I always seem to only survive through and not victor over..
As an officer-to-be, the word 'give up' should not even cross my mind but honestly speaking, how many times has it crossed my mind not including the times I actually GAVE UP!
Even before I entered army, I gave up on my studies, my results, my napfa, even right before I entered, I gave up on my first one and only love that was going well cos I tot I couldn't handle her, even as a cadet I gave up halfway through OCS just because of a little hairline fracture! Even now, I gave up the dream of getting Sword of Honour and getting driving license before I commission just because I cannot take the heat, the stress and the competition...
Sometimes, I just wonder... God, am I really cut out to be a leader? Can I say no? Can I just give up trying so hard to be one and just follow... I think I'm more of a supporter...
Had a Vision
on Friday, August 08, 2008, 5:10 PM