Fai†hfully Preparing my Fields for the Rain

:: A clear path... ::

The storm has finally passed... The sky has finally cleared...

So this is what my path looks like?

Is that all? A single path? A barren land with nothing around and not a single soul in sight?

What has become of me? Rejection no longer haunts me. It has become a part of my life. Have I reach the level of emotional self control that will lead me to unmeasurable success? Am I turning into an emotionless cyborg? I keep having doubts about my path...

A recap into the past, June 2006 A prophesy was told to me which I still remember quite clearly... Thank God I blogged it down.

"Lord, I bring forth this brother unto your throne. At the Lord's throne I see you in a casino but you are not gambling. At the casino there is a lot of chips, in the end you won a lot of chips and you are very excited and happy. God says that's right, if you seek me you will be like what you are in the casino winning all those chips into your hands. That kind of grace is beyond comprehension. Jesus wants to tell you that you must leave this world. The world will attract you sometimes and make your heart not know how to love Jesus even more because Jesus says you cannot serve me and money. Jesus says only by following the Holy Spirit can bring you life and peace. If you follow the world it will only lead to death because the road to heaven is narrow, there are two roads for you to choose. You must choose. And this choice is not blurry, it's very clear. Jesus wants to help you. When you choose to love the world or choose to love in Jesus. Jesus is ready to help you. When you start to call out to Him, Jesus will give you strength because... I can feel that in your life you have great financial capabilities, you have great talent, you have the fruit of self-control, the gift of management but the world also likes you a lot. Child, you must know that if you were to choose the world, it would mean that you are walking towards the road to death. Only when you choose Jesus will there be peace and joy. Jesus wants you to love even more for the one younger than you..."

What is this "Casino" that I can win alot without gambling?
Is it putting faith in God as a gamble to my life? my future? that He will make me a winner? Is the casino related to real-time of our IR opening? How is the casino related to me when it's not even opened, when the company has not even won the bid to build the casino when this was said to me so what's the link?? If i'm not gambling, could it mean that i'll be working there as the dealer? or manager? or something along the line?

What is this "World" that I must leave that makes me not know how to love Him?
Is it my job? my career? the path that I'm on or the one I'll be taking soon? Or did I miss out anything? The casino? Could it be the condo near the casino that I wanted to have earlier? A life of luxury?

What is this "Road" that is very clear that I must choose?
Is it the road now that I'm on? Have I already made my choice? Where is the other road that will make use of all the great potential God has given me? What does loving the world means? Is it the condo? Or is it my career? Then what does loving Jesus means? Following His words? Fulfilling the prophesy? Attending church? Loving my brothers and sisters?

Why didn't my prophesy said anything about fireflies or my half apple? Why my prohesy has to say "God will specially train you, these training, at this point God wants to train you, sometimes you might feel that it seems like unfair to you, why others can yet I cannot."

Why do I feel lonely on this path...

Had a Vision
on Tuesday, January 19, 2010, 10:49 PM